Jamie Lath's blog

A professor of mine told a story that went something like this: 

There was a farmer whose barn burned down. Once the fire was out, he walked around the smoldering embers angry and worried about his livelihood now that he'd lost so much. He stomped around kicking at the ground. He kicked at a partially burned board. It made a satisfying crack  as it went flying. He walked a bit further. Crack. Another bit of debris flew off. Crack. Crack. He kicked again and again, until he heard a thump as his foot kicked at something different. 

Jen Hatmaker, you have messed me up. 

I spend my days like I'm the recycling police now. I note when something could have been reduced. I kick myself when I come out of store with bags because I forgot to bring in some cloth ones. I've even carried groceries out in my arms with no bag at all just to avoid plastic. I look like a freak. Suddenly, my blasé fair attitude towards the earth has turned into a budding obsession with treating with care. I blame you and your book 7 (more info on book).

Take for example, my recent trip to Chick-fil-A. Now, I have no problem going to Chick-fil-A. It may be fast food, but we all understand the occasional need for the chicken sandwich, waffle fries, and a lemonade, am I right?  

There's a message we're sending out about singleness and marriage: Singleness is just second best. No one is really saying this out right, but we are saying it all the time in other ways. We're trying to set up our single friends. We pray for those who are single like they need healing from a disease. We look upon them with pity. Sometimes we even relegate them to lesser positions of leadership because they are single.

 
In the Garden, God was pretty clear about His will. “Don’t eat,” he said.
 
It didn’t take long for those first people to exert their own will instead. “Not Your will, but mine,” they said.

 
Deserve: “to be worthy of”
We are a people who deserve many things, or so we think. Thus, we are the center of the universe in so many ways. Most often, we think we should be the center of the place we most frequent in our own little universe—our home.

 
The holidays are a mixed bag if you ask me. We’ve got the beauty of God’s gift of His son, next to the ugliness of fighting over the latest and coolest gift for your kid. There’s this amazing little family made up of a young faith-filled couple in awe of the God-child within travelling miles away and laying a baby in a manger, and there’s your own squabbling, stressed out family trying to get everyone together for one meal without a fight. You’ve got that first Christmas, then you’ve got this one. How do we pull it back a bit?

My suggestion? Simple. Listen to this.

The child clings, arms wrapped like ivy around my own. It's time to put him down for sleep, but his whimpers say otherwise. We've been apart all day, and he is clear that he needs more--the smell, the feel, the nearness of mommy. "Don't let me be separated from you yet, Mommy," his actions say. 

This child slept through the night at six weeks. Another child is walking already. One can read at a third grade level in kindergarten. That one is a child model. This one is a model child. Oh, the comparisons, both positive and negative, of my child against other children. Sometimes they are my comparisons; sometimes someone else’s. 

Well, it took me a few weeks, but "love is patient" really got into my life and changed me. So, I moved on to "love is kind" (1 Cor 13: 4).

Now, if you are sleep deprived from not only your own jet lag, but that of an infant, then said infant gets over jet lag, but still likes to get up once or twice a night to nurse, and your husband seems rested, and you just moved in with your parents from having your own place, and you don’t know how you’ll find jobs or insurance or functioning vehicles, can love be kind?

Memorize Scripture? Oh yeah. I’m great at that. I’ve memorized tons. And forgotten just as much. You too?

Well, I recently heard a talk about memorizing Scripture and it actually really helped me. Here was the key:

“Take your life to the Scripture and the Scripture to your life.”

Let me explain.

Guilt.

The “Motherhood Guilt” creeps in from Day One; well, actually, from before that.  The experts start talking (i.e. we start reading), and we realize how, even as the baby is in the womb, we are doing it all wrong. The guilt keeps growing as the little one comes into this world, and we start to make those seemingly all important decisions: Faber, Sears, Whisperer, or Happiest on the Block? The voices of friends, neighbors, mommas, and even strangers flood us with instruction. Who do we listen to? And, why is our own voice and, more importantly, God’s voice the last ones we consider?

I'm tired of it. (Well, let's be honest, I'm just tired.) But, I am also looking for some ways to change.

People have asked me how many kids we’re going to have. (We’re about to have our first right now.) I’ve told them I guess more than one. Then, I mention that I’d like to look into adoption at some point as well. People have mixed opinions on this, but I’ve heard more than once, “I don’t know how you could love an adopted kid as much as one you’ve given birth to.”

Really? Let me tell you how:

Before the movie begins, we see the words “Silence is golden.” Ironic since we are about to enter into something loud, entertaining, and not at all silent—a distraction. We live to make sure there is anything but silence in our lives, yet silence is considered to be one of the great spiritual disciplines (as well as one of the greatly avoided ones).

Have you ever just had a verse that rubbed you the wrong way? Something that if you were honest, you questioned God about why He’d let that one get into the Bible. I’ve had a few. Here’s one of mine:

It’s been a year since we moved to Taiwan, and I feel that we are settling in well to our church. However, it took us over half the year to decide on that church, and I know others that are still not really decided. I don’t think it’s a rare thing anymore to spend a lot of time “church shopping.” Why is that?

But suppose this son has a son who sees all the sins his father commits, and though he sees them, he does not do such things. Ez 18:14

High power churchdom. A fall into disgrace. A family split apart. Jim and Tammy Faye Bakker once had an empire in the Christian world that included churches, a television network, and a theme park. Then, it all came apart at the seams as one man’s sins were brought to light.

I hadn’t thought much about all of this in years. I remember a bit about the great awe of the Bakker family. I remember a little about the scandals and fall. For some reason, what I remember most is a t-shirt that had fake eyelashes on it and a smear of blue and black below them with a lipstick print in the middle that said, "I just ran into Tammy Faye." I guess I don’t remember much because it really no longer matters to me, except to find ways to distance myself from this brand of Christianity.

Make a list of all your accomplishments. Go ahead. List out all the things you’re proud of. Nothing to be ashamed of in being proud of the things you worked hard for, or glad of the things that have been blessings in your life.

Do you have that list?

I have a friend who was cleaning light fixtures at work. They were embedded in this ledge thing really close to the top of the ceiling. She was up on a ladder, cleaning away, when the ladder fell away from her. She managed to hold onto the ledge with both hands and just ended up hanging there “like a monkey.” She hung for a couple of minutes, arms aching, praying to God someone would come by, but she knew it was unlikely. Finally, she realized she had to let go.

(And no, this isn’t a cheesy “letting go” analogy, so stick with me). :)

If we’re facebook friends, chances are I’ve been jealous of you. You, with your great vacation shots and funny one-liners about your husband and kids.

If we’re facebook friends, you may have even been jealous of me. Me, with my life in a foreign country complete with exciting places to travel to and exotic foods to eat.

“Facebook envy.” They’re starting to do studies on this hyperreality that is created by seeing exciting snippets of each other’s lives. Which parties have we missed? What else could life have held for us? Who posts more verses and is therefore godlier than us?

What’s a Christian on facebook to do?

This is the story of how I learned a new lesson:

Don’t let anyone tell you who you are but God.

If people have tried to tell you who you have been, who you are, or who you will be, yet they were totally, painfully, and damagingly off, then you know what I mean.

How often do we do this:

• Worry more about whether or not WE are making an impact, than if God is?
• Want to make sure we are drawing people to OURSELVES, not to God?
• Are interested in our OWN names, not His?

I would've answered these questions, "No way"—until this past week.

Righteousness has nothing to do with geography. This may seem obvious, but I think that sometimes we who come from an area of the world that is so “blessed by God” can forget this. Also, as we often revere those who “give it all up” to serve Him, we start to think that righteousness may have to do more with what country you’re in. Even more so, if you’re one of those people in another country. I’m in Taiwan.

This is a prayer for the new year:

All helpless and new,
scrubbed fresh and clean,
the year slides into being
with a few cheers and some tears,
and not nearly enough prayer.

Tis the season to be stressed,
Fa la la la la, la la la la…

Before my husband and I got engaged, we googled top reasons for divorce. Before I would say “yes” to his proposal, I wanted to know what we were up against (yes, I did make him wait—three weeks—between the time he proposed and the time I said yes, but that’s a whole other story).

I can’t remember the exact answers we found, but when I googled it today, the top reasons seem pretty similar to the topics we discussed before marriage. So, my question to you is: have you discussed these with your spouse, potential spouse, or even just thought through the answers for yourself?

There are a lot of theories out there on what makes a certain book fit into the Christian fiction category. Is it that it’s been written by a Christian author? Is it that it’s been published by a Christian publishing house? Is it that the message of Christianity is found somewhere within the pages?

Years ago, I went to a conference where Louie Giglio held up an apple and took a bite. “Taste and see that the Lord is good,” he said (Psalm 34:8). I don’t know how he made that apple look so delicious, but he made me hungry for an apple with just one bite. As the week went on, I grew hungry for God, too.

The illustration stuck with me through the years. God needs to be tasted and proved in an intimate way. We can’t just say that we know Him; we must taste and see that He is good.

(On a random note: as I was googling around on this topic, I found that Louie Giglio still preaches on this verse. He’s just changed the apple for a Krispy Kreme. Watch it here.)

I don’t know the statistics on women and pornography, but I’m not naïve enough to think that we don’t struggle with it. Not to the same proportion as men, but it’s still a problem for us. I’m also not naïve enough to think that because more men struggle with it that makes us women more holy. We’ve just got to compare the equivalent thing for women, and we’ll see how not holy we really are.

So, what is that equivalent thing? Well, men are moved visually, and women are moved emotionally. Hmmm, something that moves us emotionally. Watch this clip of Joy Eggerichs if you don’t already know where I’m going with this.

My last post was all about complaining. The good news: we can open up our hearts and be real with God. Yes, we can complain. The bad news: if we get stuck in complaining mode, we end up with gray, miserable lives full of bitterness. Sounds lovely, doesn't it?

So, I’ve moved to another country (Taiwan). I’ve hit culture shock. I’ve spent some time complaining to God. What’s next on the agenda?

Contentment.

“I am weary of my life; I will complain without restraint; I will speak in the bitterness of my soul.” Job 10:1

“As for me, I shall call upon God, and the Lord will save me. Evening and morning and at noon, I will complain and murmur, and he will hear my voice.” Psalm 55:17