Deserve: “to be worthy of”
We are a people who deserve many things, or so we think. Thus, we are the center of the universe in so many ways. Most often, we think we should be the center of the place we most frequent in our own little universe—our home.
If there is one thing I’m realizing I don’t deserve (most of the time I am in my right mind and realize this), it’s my husband. My patient, hold-his-tongue-when-I-wouldn’t husband. And, I was thinking, now, I didn’t ask him this, but I was thinking, he might think he doesn’t deserve me too.
Then it hit me, blam. Perhaps that is one secret to a good marriage. We need to remember we don’t deserve the other person.
When someone states that she “doesn’t deserve” something, you often get how she doesn’t deserve to be treated so badly, doesn’t deserve to be left out, etc. This is really just a comment one what she does deserve—the opposite of how the world is treating her. Obviously, I’m not talking about deserve in that sense.
Rather, I am talking about how I don’t deserve to have someone love me that knows me so intimately and deeply that he could embarrass me to the point of my never wanting to walk out of the house. I don’t deserve to have him treat me with kindness when I am all barbs and arrows. I don’t deserve him to love me when I’m a slob and all falling apart.
Of course, none of us deserve the love God has given us. None of us were deserving when Christ came to earth. (Just check out Romans 5:8 if you don’t believe me.) Keeping this in mind, how can we tell anyone that they are not treating as we “deserve” to be treated.
Sure there are times I’m tempted to do so. The times when I know I don’t deserve to be treated this way because I do this and that and he doesn’t and blah blah blah. The problem is it’s just the flip side of the deserving coin. If I flip it over, there’s still the I don’t deserve him because he’s sitting there listening to my blah blah and not yelling at me but waiting for me to calm down and then we can actually talk it out.
If only I could remember this all the time and flip that coin. So, I pray that we remember that we don’t deserve those loved ones that are put around us. I pray that we keep flipping the deserve coin and loving and respecting each other. With God at the center of our universe, I think we may actually have a chance.