My Top 10 Ways to Stay Happily Married!

Brian Holt's picture

Ok so I know this doesn't apply of any of you but just in case you know anyone that has struggles in their marriage, you might share this blog with them and just let them know that this was written by a guy who is imperfect, doesn't have a Doctorate in Marriage & Family counseling and is really pretty goofy overall...but really loves his wife and is blessed with an extremely awesome marriage. 

  1. Put God First!Give up trying to be Superman and allow God to take command of your life. Make him #1 and He will give you the strength, power and wisdom to overcome anything that this crazy world can throw at you. 
  2. Put your spouse secondBehind God place your spouse second.  That means above you and your kids.  This of course, should be done both ways. The result will be a greater appreciation and devotion to each other.
  3. Pursue your spouse!You didn’t just one day wake up married to your spouse; you flirted, dated, got to know each other and fell in love with your spouse before they became your spouse. Why stop now? Oh…and it’s not too late.  Chase your mate and never stop courting them! Have weekly or bi-weekly date nights - It’s the secret behind my successful marriage.
  4. Communicate!!!!  - Seriously folks, talk to your spouse and no holds barred! Share everything because if you hold it in that’s where it will stay…In.  Women – men will not be able to read you minds and men – women have a lot more on their minds than just you so if you don’t feel appreciated or respected then let your wife know, just talk to her about it.  FYI – Communication is not accusing, shouting, degrading, smart aleck, eye-rolling, assuming, lying and exaggerating.  It’s honest, calm, received, appreciated, open, two-way and prayerful. 
  5. Affirm your spouseBuild up your spouse and help them have the confidence as man or a woman to become a better spouse. This means letting them know how much you love them. This means complimenting them, bragging about them and reminding them that the Lord is their power source.  Help them be all that they can be.
  6. Forgive your spouseThe power of forgiveness is the only reason we exist on this earth.  No matter what your spouse has or has not done be prepared to forgive them and let Grace be the centerpiece of your marriage!
  7. Evaluate yourself - I think it’s amazing that we are willing to look at the faults of our spouse without ever looking at our own faults.  Jesus was clear about how he felt about hypocrites.  Read Matthew 7:1-4 and see if you have a plank in your own eye.
  8. Have accountability – Find ways to hold yourself accountable for your thoughts and actions. Don’t have friends that don’t promote you and your marriage and don’t live a private life that you wouldn’t want anyone to know about. In any case, a life without accountability is a life where sin can take hold and ruin not just your marriage but your entire life.  
  9. Take care of yourselfFolks, try to take care of yourself!  Physically, spiritually, emotionally and mentally. If you are in clear communication with God, you feel good, look good, have a clear mind and you’re emotionally stable - you are truly able to enjoy your life better.  This will make you a better spouse, parent, friend, worker, volunteer, coach, player, student or whatever.   I’m just preaching here but I know that my wife desires me more when I’m top of my game.
  10. Pray for your spouse – This may the most important thing that you can do for your spouse. Make it a point to pray daily for your spouse. Pray daily that God continues to draw your spouse closer to becoming more like Jesus.  Pray that God reveals in you how to be more like Jesus. Pray that God blesses you and your spouse in everything that honors Him.  Pray for the will of God in your marriage.  Pray for protection and pray for provision.  Just Pray and pray often! 

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