pain

I've been studying, meditating, and writing a lot about Judges 16 lately. It's the story of Samson, a judge/deliverer/champion of Israel, who, like so many, loses his sense of mission because of his libido. All because of Delilah. The temptress. The wanton woman. The one motivated by greed. A stranger to love and honesty.

Job to his little girl: "Beware Jemimah, God is kind in ways that will not fit your mind."--John Piper, The Misery of Job and the Mercy of God

The Shack is still #2 on the New York Times Best-Seller list. And I am among the millions who have read and enjoyed it. William Young has written a page-burner about theodicy and the nature of the Trinity. No small feat.

There is a pain that is so potent and yet so personal that words fail to describe it.

It's the circumstance whose description will never escape your lips.

You don't talk about it, but it defines you; whether you run from it, attempt to cure it, or try to ignore it.

You've tried doctors, positive thinking, dieting. All of it has failed. Then you've tried isolating (no one understands, anyway), or feigned apathy, or turned to something, anything that would help you forget or at least dull the pain.

I have the privilege of helping to moderate an online forum for women who struggle with same-sex attraction. One of the things that all the people in this ministry share is a history of hurtful relationships with their families, especially their same-sex parent. (With some of them, the major wound came from not connecting with their same-sex peers as they were growing up, but all of them have some level of difficulty with their parents.)