This appears to be a very complex issue; because one can start off with the best of boundaries; however; over time the bonding and attatchment takes place without one really noticing that it is happening. It takes a strong person to withstand the temptation at this point of time and walk away; as it becomes quite painful emotionally. Men and women have such different communication styles and emotional needs in any case. In most cases, It's much safer for women to counsel women; and men to counsel men; although even this has it's limitations and downfalls. Probably the ideal way to counsel within church settings; is within small teams for short-term counselling; because one requires different vantage points and dynamics from the beginning. long -term counselling probably requires a husband-wife team. Thrown into that situation is the psycho-sexual male-female rescuer-victim role; in the case of a patoral counseller. Even the minister, who's experiencing loneliness, depression, mid-life change or a burn-out, without recognising where he himself; is at in this equation of the role or relationship. Then into that arena; issues from either of the two's childhood or teen years pops up within the counselling process; it all becomes very complex; unless the minister's wife sits in with him or he has an insightful supervisor / assistant to help with the processing and debriefing throughout the role. It's quite a war zone on all fronts!