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Wow...now I have to go home and ask my husband the Greek scholar why he never told me this before ;)
I think your questions are really important, but I find myself at a more fundamental place. What in the world? I know so many women who've held their tongues in church for years and this verse was one of the main reasons why they did so. I feel the "if onlys..." if only they'd spoken, been able to share, hadn't thought they had to keep silent out of some wrong-headed desire to please God.
Yuck.
And, honestly, I haven't seen this done well. I think the church I'm in now maybe comes the closest. It's small, and functionally pastored by a husband-wife team. If a woman had a question or took issue, I know she could go to the wife and be heard.