Love is Kind
Well, it took me a few weeks, but "love is patient" really got into my life and changed me. So, I moved on to "love is kind" (1 Cor 13: 4).
Now, if you are sleep deprived from not only your own jet lag, but that of an infant, then said infant gets over jet lag, but still likes to get up once or twice a night to nurse, and your husband seems rested, and you just moved in with your parents from having your own place, and you don’t know how you’ll find jobs or insurance or functioning vehicles, can love be kind?
Kindness. It’s at this point in my life that I can’t even remember the definition. So, I checked Merriam-Webster and found the words sympathathetic, helpful, and forbearing all in the definition. Wow, not snappish, crabby, and worn-out? And, in Strong’s concordance, I see “to show one’s self mild.” So, not showing one’s self as sinner, rude, and mean?
How can I find the kindness that God wants me to display? The only answer I’ve got is the same one that worked when I wanted to be more patient before: meditation. (Which for me wasn’t a nice calm sitting back and breathing, but rocking a baby at 3am while repeating “love is patient, love is patient, love is patient.”)
So, here I go again, muttering under my breath, “love is kind,” when all I want to do is say something unkind, something unhelpful, something unloving. The truth is (and I know it) that whatever else is going on in my life is no excuse to cause harm, to hurt, to sin. I often think that my circumstances are extraordinary and give me the right to lash out. No one else is so tired, so put upon, so sacrificial as I am, so I can be a little crabby if I want to be, right?
I’m not saying we don’t need to get rest (I do, and wonderfully, my husband has found ways to make space for me to get some). We do need to find space for ourselves, especially when we’re burned out, or we’ll live in the crabby space of life. However, whether we have it or not, we cannot use that as an excuse to lose the fact that love is kind. God is kind, and if anyone has an excuse not to be, it’s Him.
With that in mind, I’ll pray for you if you’ll pray for me. And, ignore me if you I look a little mad muttering under my breath "love is kind," it’s only to keep me from being mad.