Michelle Jones's Blog Tapestry's Blog And the Winner is.....Contentment!
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Rehearsal dinners can be an awkward thing for a single person. In September 2006, I walked into a beautiful room full of beautiful people and suddenly felt, well, less than beautiful. I sat down in the lone single chair at a table full of happy couples, all using the joyful occasion to reflect on their own courtships and marriages. Hhhmmm….what could I contribute to this conversation?
As I sat in silence, my insecurities began to get the best of me. After about an hour’s worth of misery, the time came for friends and family to stand up and say nice things about the bride and groom. I had nine years worth of wonderful memories from which to draw, but as each perfect person stood up with her perfect clothes and her perfect speech, my lack of perfection kept me clammed up. I left the dinner as soon as it was socially appropriate, got about two steps out the door, and promptly burst into angry, pitiful tears.
Have you ever compared yourself to another person and lost?
I’ve been on the other side, too. In my own estimation, I have several blue ribbons from my internal competitions with other women. My silent comparisons have led to either a swelling of my ego or a pervasive desire to try harder, shop more, and eat less.
From my conversations with other women, I don’t think I’m alone in this battle. What is it within that drives us to compare and compete? Why do we feel the need to use other people as a measuring stick for our own value? And what is the alternative?
Like many forms of bondage, unhealthy comparison is rooted in disbelief. We doubt the character of God and His great love for His children. We question the truth that He has given each person a unique set of strengths and weaknesses, a unique position in the world, and a unique journey.
One of my favorite professors has often said, “If God calls you to be a farmer, why would you stoop to be a king?” When we are secure in the love of God and His unique wiring of us, contentment becomes our close companion. We are satisfied with our status and our situation. We are free to pursue risks without fear, celebrate the beauty we see in others, and utilize our God-given abilities to the fullest. In essence, we have nothing to prove and nothing to lose. Today, I choose contentment over comparison. Will you join me?
Bless you michelle
Paul had this to say about those who are not married as it relates to the things of christ, you are able to do things that most married women wish they could do but often times take a second seat to the husband.
Because they feel the pressure from society as well as from their husband who may want to be the one to take care of his family and when that is not the case are left with disappointment and sometimes bitterness when the family is not taken care of by their husband.
with an estimated 50% percent of marriages ending in divorce do to finances the trouble is that communication between couples is lacking do to the different ways in which both partners feel about each other,work, and family.
and now for a little encouragement you will not have to worry about not being able to do the things you want to do or feel like you had to give up on reaching certain goals because you have a husband to take care of. for some woman that is like taking care of another child. or be angry with yourself because you feel like he is not listening to you when you are talking or just don't have the same level of commitment that you have because every time you both talk you are the one that is talking and then you ask for an answer and all you hear is silence.
you will not feel like your husband is always doing something and you are the last person to hear about it or he just wanted you to be at home and happy but you feel like you have missed out on life.
These are just a few things that have not been said while you where having dinner what to keep is that every life is different and there is a blessing for evey man and woman who desires to get married but to do it selflessly still trying to build that one.
Content in all seasons...
Thank you for reading and for your comment. Yes, marriage certainly contains its own set of unique difficulties and limitations! There are challenges and opportunities in every realm of life, and I find the battle to remain content not confined to just marital status. Rather, contentment is to be cultivated whether we are married or single, financially set or struggling to get by, satisfied with our work or struggling for purpose. Each day, each season is a gift from God, and our call is to receive it with gratitude, trusting that His purposes are much bigger and greater than our circumstances. Thanks again for reading and reflecting!
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