Tapestry

Angelina Jolie has become rich, famous and popular for being an archetype of female sexuality. Tim Tebow has been an exceptional, celebrated athelete since high school. But for both of these superstars, circumstances have changed. I've been thinking a lot about how circumstances shape our identities, and how changes in events influence our identities. For 5 years, my husband and I have struggled with infertility. Strike that--for 5 years, we struggled with infertility. In a breathtaking blessing straight from the Author of Life, we're pregnant. I expected the morning sickness, and the nervousness, the parties and the shopping. But I didn't see the adjustment to identity coming.

A professor of mine told a story that went something like this: 

There was a farmer whose barn burned down. Once the fire was out, he walked around the smoldering embers angry and worried about his livelihood now that he'd lost so much. He stomped around kicking at the ground. He kicked at a partially burned board. It made a satisfying crack  as it went flying. He walked a bit further. Crack. Another bit of debris flew off. Crack. Crack. He kicked again and again, until he heard a thump as his foot kicked at something different. 

In my last column, titled “The Five Not-So-Scandalous Women in Jesus’s Genealogy,” I made a case for relooking at the reason Matthew included five women in Christ’s pedigree (Matt. 1:1–17).

I am so impressed with the twenty and thirty-something followers of Jesus on mission to help the world alleviate poverty, injustice, and hunger. Rarely does my week pass without hearing such a report on television, in church, or online. I applaud the courage and faith that it takes to follow God’s call and give up home, career, and material goods to accomplish those dreams.
 
But what about the rest of us who are ordinary people? Do we read about God’s great work and begin to see ourselves as lesser than, incompetent, or lacking faith? Do we feel guilty for being average—going to a job, loving our families, caring for our neighbors, and volunteering in church and community?

I recently received an envelope in the mail with no return address and no personal note, just copies of three articles about men who used to be part of Exodus International, who used to identify themselves as "ex-gay," and now repudiate that part of their histories. It is consistent with emails and blog comments I have received pointing this out, and asking if that doesn't negate my position that homosexuality is changeable.

Last Thursday was the National Day of Prayer--a day we pray for America. A good reminder to come to our Father who loves us and pour out our heart’s desire for our country. What’s on your heart that you have been asking God for America?

Books with notes sticking out of them, others with marked-up pages and many inscribed by my former professors stare at me as I place one by one on their designated shelf. Half-empty cardboard boxes lay scattered around my bedroom floor. Papers, index cards, and Post-it notes get sorted and piled on my bed. Eventually the stacks of papers will make it into a file. And those files will find their place in a box labeled by a Sharpie.

Astonish.  I really like that word and how often it is used in the gospels, when there was so much shock going around. Jesus was astonished at faith but mostly lack thereof; the disciples were astonished at Christ’s incredible statements; the crowds were astonished at His teaching. It seems clear that when one is walking with God in a remotely serious way there will be astonishment, probably on both sides.

Two years ago I traded my 60-hour work weeks for a spot in my upstairs loft. From the desk that sits up there, I work as a freelance writer. But it’s not a 9-to-5 job. Shortly before making the career transition, I also married a football coach. And while we don’t have kids yet, we spend plenty of time getting our parental practice.