A milestone

Yesterday was my birthday and I hit a milestone in life. My daughters told me I was getting old, my parents told me they could remember the day I was born and my friends told me I was over the hill! Yes, I hit the big “FOUR-0”. I have always heard and now believe that you are only as old as you feel, and I FEEL YOUNG! However, I did reflect a bit on the last forty years of my life and wanted to share a couple of thoughts.

Yesterday was my birthday and I hit a milestone in life. My daughters told me I was getting old, my parents told me they could remember the day I was born and my friends told me I was over the hill! Yes, I hit the big “FOUR-0”. I have always heard and now believe that you are only as old as you feel, and I FEEL YOUNG! However, I did reflect a bit on the last forty years of my life and wanted to share a couple of thoughts.

When men hit 40, we have a tendency to look at all of our accomplishments in life to place a value our efforts or in other words begin to look at our legacy. As I looked at my life, I had to fight a spiritual battle as some of those type of thoughts entered my mind. I began to look at my checking account, savings account, investments, cars, house and the other material possessions I have accumulated thus far and by the world’s standards, I would not look very successful. You have heard the saying that whoever has the most toys when he dies wins! At one point in time, I was winning that race but things have changed.

In the middle this mired thought process, fortunately, God reminded me of the things that really matter. I am saved by grace, so I know my eternal future, I have a fantastic wife and three incredible daughters. I also felt compelled to share a perspective I was reminded of and you may not think about regularly. What type of legacy can you leave?

I want to share a small snipit of a book entitled: Dad the Family Coach by Dave Simmons, the founder of Dad the Family Shepherd, the ministry that I work with. He shares a concept called father power that I want to share with you. The crux of father power is the fourth generation rule. Fathers are not benign and we impact our families throughout our lives and theirs, in some way. In its basic form, we as fathers, have the ability to leave a positive legacy or a negative legacy. Exodus 34:7 says, “Yet He [God] will by no means leave the guilty unpunished, visiting the iniquity of fathers on the children and on the grandchildren to the third and fourth generations.”

Dave chronicled the case of two men to make this point.
“This process works beautifully when the father is a man of God. Take, for instance, the case study of Jonathan Edwards and the impact he had on a span of four generations (a 4-G Span). His fatherhood left a legacy of 300 clergymen, missionaries, and theology professors, 120 college professors, 110 lawyers, 30 judges, 60 authors of books, 14 university presidents, 3 United States Congressmen, and one Vice President of the United States. The legacy this one man left can give us a perspective of the significance of the Fourth Generation Rule when used in a positive way.
On the other hand, great destruction can come down through the generations when negative father power is used. For example, consider the progeny of one man who lived in New York City, Max Jukes (from whose name the term “juke” was coined, which means to fake or to deceive). Among his known descendants, 1,200 were researched and here is his negative father power legacy: 310 were vagrants, 440 had their lives physically wrecked by debauchery and uncleanliness, 130 were sent to prison for an average of 13 years each, 7 were murderers, 100 were alcoholics, 60 were habitual thieves, and there were 190 prostitutes. They collectively cost the state of New York over $1.2 million in a 4-G Span that overlapped the 1700s and 1800s.”

I want to challenge you to think about these questions:

1.In my mind, what is the most important legacy I will leave? Material things or my family
2.Am I using positive or negative father power? I am pushing my kids and wife away or I am drawing them near to me
3.What type of legacy am I going to leave? One that is glorifies God or glorifies material possessions