A Time to Whine
Picture an overly tired, cloying and unpleasant child … whining. Kids whine loudest and longest within hearing range of their frazzled parents.
I think, “Do you serve cheese with that whine?” But then I know better than to say what I think around anyone who whines. Even when hungry, a whiner has no sense of irony.
Picture an overly tired, cloying and unpleasant child … whining. Kids whine loudest and longest within hearing range of their frazzled parents.
I think, “Do you serve cheese with that whine?” But then I know better than to say what I think around anyone who whines. Even when hungry, a whiner has no sense of irony.
Whining can travel by paper, too, or by email, or social networks —beyond the discordant crash of sound waves. The communicative tone: Poor me.
Nobody likes to hear whining.
To distinguish between whining and the need for help with a problem: Whiners love the sound of their own voice, droning or buzzing or blaring for any and all to hear.
If I catch myself telling more than three people what’s bothering me, I have a whining problem.
Once in a while each of us will encounter something that makes whining seem, well, appropriate, almost acceptable. An otherwise sunny disposition disappears behind a cloud. Dreariness falls upon the just and the unjust.
Whether a storm rises without warning or a steady drip, drip, drop of woes, irritations or frustrations that build, on some days I would like my complaints to register on the national weather radar. Lightening flashes as anger or resentments or injustices or privation or personal slights or annoyances combine to promote a grim outlook on life.
I revisit past grievances.
Then I remind myself: you are not so adorable when you whine.
I contemplate Isaiah’s words:
Why would you ever complain, O Jacob,
or, whine, Israel, saying,
"God has lost track of me.
He doesn't care what happens to me"? Read More.
Do I need to tell someone my trouble or do I want to make noise? Do I want help processing a problem or do I crave attention? Have invisible, hormonal gremlins affected my mood or interfered with rational thought? Do I need to go back to bed?
It’s one thing to hear others whine about something. I can change the subject or walk away. But when I catch myself whining, I am that unpleasant child that nobody wants around.
Yet I consider myself rich in friendship if even one person cares about my troubles and will listen as I pour out my complaint—someone I don’t have to pay by the hour.
Thank God for friends who put up with whiners. A friend who willingly endures whining today provides hope for a better tomorrow.
2 Comments
Sue Bohlin
Serving cheese with that whine
>>I think, “Do you serve cheese with that whine?” But then I know better than to say what I think around anyone who whines. Even when hungry, a whiner has no sense of irony.<<
Ooh, good stuff, Carol! Thanks for the insight and the practicality: telling more than three people my woes IS a whining problem.
Worse, telling my woes with no intention of doing anything about it is a whining problem.
Sometimes, though, the best way I can love someone who is whining is to listen patiently to them, express my sympathy for the difficult place they're in, and pray for them. Simply being listened to can turn whining into a sense of being heard and understood, and the whining evaporates because, although it FELT like whining at the time, it was really unloading a heart full of hurt that was eased by the act of whining/unloading. We can't always tell the difference in the moment.
Your blog post concentrates on our own whining, and that's the place to deal with it. Thank you!
Carol Frugé
Whining
Well, Sue, what you said prompted the post in the first place. Friends who put up with us when we whine demonstrate genuine concern and they don't have a meter running. Expressing love like parents of whining children, a friend keeps investing in the relationship despite unpleasant episodes. Sometimes I'm on the whining side and others the listening side. I do, however, believe that telling more than three people what's bothering me indicates I want to whine rather than, as you say, deal with the problem.
Thanks, Sue, for taking the time to comment. You have the gift of mercy.