Boom – Goes the Marriage!

There is a war on Marriage! It was waged thousands of years of ago by Satan in the Garden of Eden and he hasn’t stopped since.  Genesis 3 tells us that the Satan used deception, lies and pride to set up the fall of man and ruin the perfect marriage.  What’s amazing is that Satan still uses the same three “marriage bombs” to ruin marriage today. 

Let’s break that down:

Bomb #1) Deception – here Satan uses a host of false and negative illusions to enter into the minds and hearts of the married couple.  This bomb will cause the most damage when there is a lot of stress, lack of communication and/or lack of intimacy in the marriage.

Bomb #2) Lies – Satan is the father of lies so you can fully expect that this bomb will be used the most.  Lies cause mistrust and once mistrust sets in then it’s hard to repair the damage.  Trust is the glue of marriage so the lie bomb is the most lethal and causes the most damage. It also works hand in hand with Bomb #1!

Bomb #3) Pride – The sin that God hates the most!  Pride was the true fall of man and nearly every marriage breakup can trace it back to pride.  Pride in marriage is dangerous because it places our needs above our spouses and when we do that we create division in the marriage. This is one bad bomb!

How do we win the war?

#1) Communicate openly and honestly – this alone can stop the deception and the lie bombs!  When we communicate in such a way that real feelings are met with complete grace then there will be little weakness in our defense.  If the communication is broken then see #2.

#2) Get help with a Christian counselor –Use a counselor to help identify and sort out the issues; once the issues are sorted out then healthy communication can begin.  If you think you are not the issue in the marriage and you don’t need the counselor – Guess what? You need the counselor the most!

#3) Pray for humbleness – as the opposite of pride – being humble in the marriage means being vulnerable and being vulnerable means being open to change.  God wants to change and transform you into being just like His son.   When we draw closer to God then the pride bomb has no power.  Do this first above all things and your marriage will have the greatest chance of surviving the war.

In summary – you are at war with an enemy who has no power over you if you allow God to take on the battle for you.  When you allow Deception, Lies and Pride to creep in to your marriage then you can fully expect a rather harsh defeat.  Bottom Line:  Don’t lose a war you can win!


Brian Holt was called into and has served in children's ministry for over 20 years. Brian has had the privilege to lead in children's ministries ranging from mega-church to plant church size. Brian recently changed roles and now serves as the Care Pastor at Rock Creek Church in Prosper, Texas overseeing the Care and Support ministries of the church. Brian has been married to his lovely wife Amy for over 24 years and they have 5 amazing kids. Brian's passion is to see every man, woman and child fall in love with Jesus and become one of his devout followers, transforming their lives in the process to be more like Him everyday.