Dumbstruck

This particular blog entry day catches me totally unprepared, because, well, I just celebrated my birthday (one of those birthdays that are in between "significant" milestone years). I find myself vacillating between euphoria and discontent.

The questions continuously bubble up:

What have I done with my life? Am I using the gifts and talents that the Lord has given me for His glory? Am I a better wife, student, worshipper, friend, daughter, than I was last year?

This particular blog entry day catches me totally unprepared, because, well, I just celebrated my birthday (one of those birthdays that are in between "significant" milestone years). I find myself vacillating between euphoria and discontent.

The questions continuously bubble up:

What have I done with my life? Am I using the gifts and talents that the Lord has given me for His glory? Am I a better wife, student, worshipper, friend, daughter, than I was last year?

Am I where I thought I would be at this age? Does my life hold value?

Ironically, though, I am literally without a voice. It hurts to speak (very humbling for a singer/communicator).

I feel hushed. Like, God’s telling me to stand on the foundation of His word instead of the sandy deserts of questions.

Being temporarily (hopefully) voiceless is helping me to understand the sheer power of words.

• Well-placed words are like apples of gold in settings of silver.
• The tongue unleashes unbridled terror, or rivers of blessing.
• Spoken words are often an outflow of what is in the heart.
• Words can bind and loose in heaven what is bound and loosed on earth (I still grapple with the meaning of this).
• When the Son of God wanted to describe Himself, one of the descriptions He thought would fit well, was The Word.
• Earth, heaven and everything in it was created by God’s utterance.
• Words wield power.

So I have some birthday statements for myself that I’ll share, because I think they’re rooted in the audacious, fearless, and true Word of God:

• This year, I want to be bolder in the Faith.
• I want to dream impractical, unimaginable dreams for the kingdom.
• I want to write songs that change the world.
• I want to love my mother and father better.
• I want to make my husband swoon, smile, and feel safe.
• I want to help women wield the sword of the Word of God with confidence, assurance, reverence, and accuracy.
• I want to speak.