The Dating Game: Finding New Rules to the Game of Life

Jamie Lath's picture

Ok, so here's my point over these past few weeks: You can’t make God do for you what He did for somebody else and especially not in the way that He did it before.

Look at Moses and the whole rock thing. Hit the rock when you’re told to, and voila, we have water (Exodus 17:1-7). Hit it just because that’s what worked last time, and voila, you’re out of the Promised Land (Numbers 20:1-13).

So, stop trying to figure out how to do exactly what someone else did in order to find your mate. It’s highly unlikely if you sit at the well and water every camel that comes along that you’ll be watering the one of the servant that has been sent to find his master’s son a wife (Genesis 24). If it could only be so simple!

What can you do instead? Know God. Like I said last week, those stories (Biblical and personal) are to tell us universal truths about God and His character. He loves us and takes care of us—but not very often in the way we think we should be.

Also, know yourself. If you’re the kind of girl that can’t make a list to go grocery shopping, then you’re probably not going to benefit by sitting down and making a list of character traits that you want in your husband and praying over it (and yes, I know someone who did this right down to the kind of truck he drove and shoes he wore and it worked; and yes, I tried it and it didn’t). If you can’t take the dating scene, then quit it. If you can date in a Godly manner, then do that.

It’s about who God is and who He made you to be. Those two things will create a unique scenario all of its own.

One last thing that turned my single life around and has continued to turn me around every day is to celebrate what you got. Look into a married woman’s eyes and you’ll see those occasional moments when she wished she had a bit of the old days back, especially if she has kids crawling up the walls.

Let’s not fool ourselves. There are some great things about being married, but there are some great things about being single too. Paul talked about the ability to focus in ministry (1 Cor 7:32-35). There’s just more time to devote to Him. Also there’s more independence. You can pick up and go at a moments notice. So, why not do it?

Instead of withering away wishing for something you don’t got, enjoy what you do. Make a list of what’s good about your current situation (whether it’s about singledom, marriage, work, the place you live, whatever). If you have to, make the list of the bad stuff too just to get it out of your system. Then live up what’s good.

No, it won’t take the pain or the sting or the desire out of it all. But let’s just say this: I realized how much time I spent wishing for a husband and plotting it and dreaming of this man or that, and it was, well, embarrassing. And I thought, if I’m 90, single, and in a nursing home still pursuing a man, trying to run him down in my wheel chair, well that’s a wasted life.

So, stop living for the life you wish you’d been given, before you totally miss the life you already have. In the end, you'll be glad you did, and so will your nursing-home-mates.


Laura Singleton's picture

You are so right-on about this. We want formulas so

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