Heartache and God

Recently, I've had the same conversation with many people. Maybe you've had it too. People are depressed, overwhelmed, heartbroken, deflated. Maybe it's the economy or postpartum or death or betrayal that brought it on, but over and over, I hear it. We as a people are heartsick. For those of us who are Christians, the natural response is to turn to our loving, good, sovereign Father. But what do we do when, at the moment of our most desperate cry, it's too hard to "Be still and know that I am God"?

Recently, I've had the same conversation with many people. Maybe you've had it too. People are depressed, overwhelmed, heartbroken, deflated. Maybe it's the economy or postpartum or death or betrayal that brought it on, but over and over, I hear it. We as a people are heartsick. For those of us who are Christians, the natural response is to turn to our loving, good, sovereign Father. But what do we do when, at the moment of our most desperate cry, it's too hard to "Be still and know that I am God"?

It's a major theme for disheartened Christ-followers. "Has He forgotten me?" "Does He even see me?" "Where is God?" Like Martha's dismayed rebuke <John 11:21-22>, we think, "If you were here, you could have prevented this. If you're here now, you could fix this." But we know He's here, and that He simply chooses not to, and we reel from the implications.

Some of us feel like little children, confused by a parent's cruel silent treatment. We get angry, or act out or abandon faith because "it doesn't work". Or we search for the reason, the sin that caused us to be benched. We question our recent actions, our motives, our attempts at following His guidance. We repent for our sins, then things that aren't. We repent for already-forgiven sins that were addressed long ago. We start thinking more about the Old Testament more than New Testament and we search for "the thing" that is causing God to punish us with His "absence."

Others of us turn dispassionate, thinking that crying out in grief is sin. In an effort to avoid grumbling and complaining, we turn formal and inauthentic in our prayers. We shut God out and become dependent on our own strength.

Others of us revert to handling our pain as if we had never been adopted, redeemed, indwelt. We moan and complain, feel entitled or envious, nurse a sense betrayal and disappointment. We may use our pain as an excuse for addiction or affairs or treating others badly.

But the Bible gives us truth. We lean on truth, not on feelings, because our hearts are deceitful and our human perspective is tiny and flawed. The light of Scripture draws our eyes up to God's eternal perspective. We get the big, true picture.  As saved and adopted children, we can know–not just in our theology but in our core–that God is good, loving, present and paying attention.

The Bible also gives us examples so we'll know how to walk this undesired path. David, Job, Jesus cried out in grief, and it wasn't sin. They were truthful, passionate, heartbroken.  Yet they remembered God's character. They stayed obedient. They accepted His will for His glory. Even when it felt bad, even when God didn't seem as active or vocal as they might have wanted, they held on.

So for all of us who live in this heartsick world, we can stand certain that He he sees us and loves us as much as He does when we feel happy. He doesn't turn His back on us, and will work everything together for the good of those who love Him. It may not feel good. It may be the worst thing you've ever had to face. But God, who loves you with an everlasting love, sees you and holds you and acts for your good. And then, we can truly be still and know that He is God.

Author's Note: If you are depressed, please talk to a professional. There are many causes of depression, including physical. This should not be a substitute for professional help. Similarly, professional help cannot be a substitute for God's presence. If you are trying to endure this without the power of Christ in your life, that is just as serious a condition and both should be addressed.