On-Line Dating

Sherry Shepherd's picture

You swipe right and you swipe left. Or you send a heart, or a smiley face or wince at times (if you are honest) and hit the “X” or no button. It’s like fishing for Mr. or Mrs. Right or for some... Mr. or Mrs. Right now. Dating is difficult. But today on-line dating has drastically changed the way people meet, interact and develop relationships.

In the past, you met someone face to face before you decided to date. Maybe it was through friends, work, school,or church. It was less stressful because you already knew the person through others. You already knew how they acted, their reputation and what they looked like. Dating occured after already meeting. So, you were more likely to have common interests and a foundation that was based on mutual friends, interests and trust.

However, today on-line dating is based on two strangers first finding one another attrative enough to actually meet, and then deciding if they still find one another attrative and engaging enough to see each other again. Don’t get me wrong, I know it works for many and I believe like with anything, there are good people everywhere. But, finding your soulmate on an app or dating site can be challenging at best and dangerous at worst.

For some, dating sites are entertainment. It’s about chasing the next best thing. No one will ever be “good enough” for them because there is always going to be someone better or more attrative.  

Second, predators are everywhere. They use the sites just like everyone else. They are not looking to find love or a relationship. They are looking for a hookup or to do harm. Their on-line profiles are amazing because they know how to manipulate to get what they want.

The bottom line is, you don’t know a person just because you have texted and talked a few times. Therefore, you cannot trust them. Just because someone says all the right things and has a great profile doesn’t mean they are a great person.

Third, when you do meet there is always the risk of rejection because people in person are just different from their on-line persona. On-line you don’t always see their mannerisms and personlity etc. It hurts to spend time investing in someone talking and texting to finally meet and be rejected. So guard your heart.

So what is a girl or guy to do when most people meet these days on-line? First, be safe. Never give someone your home address. Always meet at a designated public place. Take your own vehicle.  Always let someone close to you know where you are going and who you are meeting. Be smart. If something feels uneasy, listen to yourself and leave or call someone for help.

Just because someone is great on a first date doesn’t mean you can trust them. Trust takes time to build. It is earned. Therefore, you have to be careful. Get to know that person’s friends and check out their social media. Pray for wisdom and protection.

Last of all, remember there are options that don’t involve on-line dating. Join a club or a group doing things you enjoy. Get involved with serving others or volunteering and let things happen naturally. Romans 12:9 “Let love be genuine. Abhor what is evil hold fast to what is good.”

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