Hurt or Harm

In the chaos of our world today I sometimes get confused. In the face of difficult and painful circumstances I struggle to respond rather than react. I believe one point of confusion surfaces in almost any challenging event. What do I do when my present reality is painful. Have I made a mistake? Is this indeed some “strange thing” that is happening to me? Do I focus on pain relief alone?

In the chaos of our world today I sometimes get confused. In the face of difficult and painful circumstances I struggle to respond rather than react. I believe one point of confusion surfaces in almost any challenging event. What do I do when my present reality is painful. Have I made a mistake? Is this indeed some “strange thing” that is happening to me? Do I focus on pain relief alone?

This past week I read in Henry Cloud’s new book, “Necessary Endings” this: “There is a big difference between hurt and harm. We all hurt sometimes in facing hard truths but it makes us grow. It can be the source of huge growth. That is not harmful. Harm is when you damage someone. Facing reality is usually not a damaging experience, event though it can hurt.” Facing reality in a fallen world can be painful.

A young man I know is recovering from a necessary surgery that proved to be extremely painful. In order to correct an issue in his body so he could continue to grow and develop properly he endured not only the surgery but a very painful recovery. His parents, both doctors, sat by his side bearing the pain with him knowing this pain was hurtful but not harmful. Reality required it for his ultimate good. That, however, did not lessen their shared suffering as he endured recovery.

These thoughts are echoed in Hebrews 12:7-13; especially verse 11: “Now all discipline seems painful at the time, not joyful. But later it produces the fruit of peace and righteousness for those trained by it.”

Pain will intrude into your life and mine. How we choose to respond will be affected by how we understand it. It is not meant to harm us, but to help us. I think that is why James 1:2 says to “consider it joy” not “feel it joy” when trials come. They have a purpose. We can trust Him and seek to be trained by it.