We were made to discover our identities through affirmation; however, many of us did not. Therefore, unless we are healed from this lack of affirmation (i.e., rejection) we will never be able to fulfill our God-ordained destinies. Consequently, we must seek for God to heal us from rejection so that we will become whole people that fulfill our God-given Destinies.
Three Types of Rejection:
- Performance rejection – a lack of acceptance for what we do.
- Personhood rejection – a lack of acceptance for who we are.
- Passive rejection – a lack of affirmation or validation. This may be perceived as performance rejection or personhood rejection.
Three Causes of Rejection:
1. Acts of rejection that we experience – may be real or perceived, intentional or unintentional.
2. Conditional love given and received based on two factors:
a) Whether the person giving the love decides we are worthy or deserving of it.
b) The reduced capacity someone desiring to give us love has to give it. That is, they may not be able to love us the way that we need to be loved due to being hurt people themselves (hurt people, hurt people and are easily hurt by other people).
3. Our fallen world and fallen state of mankind.
a) Makes us capable of rejecting others. We have learned from Adam that rejection is a way to shift the awful feelings we have about ourselves onto someone else. However, we end up sacrificing intimacy on the altar of self protection (e.g., Genesis 3:1-15 with Genesis 3:12 being the first act of rejection of a human by a human).
b) Deep down we know that something is wrong with us; therefore, it is easy to believe the messages of rejection we get from those around us (Romans 7:24. Romans 3:23,24).
The Cure for Rejection
God alone can heal us from rejection; however, we have an integral role (i.e., God does not desire passive people but rather submitted active ones). Therefore, we must get to know God as He really is (1) - then we can experience His love and presence in a way that heals our rejection and allows us to enter into the true identity of who we are. God’s love for us has nothing to do with us. It is all about Him and His love for us. We experience the love of God when we simply allow Him to love us and stop trying to earn His love.
We were made to discover our identities through affirmation; however, many of us did not. Therefore, unless we are healed from this lack of affirmation (i.e., rejection) we will never be able to fulfill our God-ordained destinies. We must seek for God to heal us from rejection so that we will become whole people that fulfill our God-given Destinies (2).
(1) Left click on underlined phrase to open another article in a different tab with more explanation.
(2) Adapted from "Rejection", Authored by Kevin H. Grenier, ISBN 978-0-9822159-3-7, Perieco Publishing