Marriage Rewind
My heart is heavy for Sandra Bullock right now. I won’t rehash here what’s happened to her recently, except to say that she has to publicly endure allegations that her husband was unfaithful to her, and chronically so.
I juxtapose my sadness at her situation with my outright anger towards the situation with Rielle Hunter, mistress of Senator John Edwards. Here is an article that fanned the flames for me.
My heart is heavy for Sandra Bullock right now. I won’t rehash here what’s happened to her recently, except to say that she has to publicly endure allegations that her husband was unfaithful to her, and chronically so.
I juxtapose my sadness at her situation with my outright anger towards the situation with Rielle Hunter, mistress of Senator John Edwards. Here is an article that fanned the flames for me.
Why would John Edwards cheat on his wife Elizabeth, who bore his children and is battling cancer? Why would Jesse James (allegedly) have an 11-month tryst with a tattoo model while his wife was away working? Her unabashed gratitude for him during her many acceptance speeches this season must haunt her day and night in the face of all the accusations.
These two instances – of many – reignite my searching for answers in how to preserve marriages. Those of us who believe in Jesus are called to represent Jesus and His Church in the way we conduct ourselves in marriage; the stakes are so much higher for us (and unfortunately, many of us can still fall victim to divorce despite that higher standard).
We have a lot of praying, soul-searching, humility , and scripture reading coming our way, if we want to defend ourselves against infidelity. Please pray again with me for the longevity, quality, and intimacy in our marriages (and we can pray for that even if we are not married yet – for our future spouse, and for our loved ones’ marriages).
To reprise a previous blog post, we as women can fight for our marriages. (We live in a fallen world, and there are circumstances that are out of our control. Hear me: we cannot predict or manipulate what our spouses will do, and I am not writing that women are the ones to blame when their husbands are unfaithful. But we can live lives that are faithful to the Lord, and loving to our husbands.)
As I let the Lord’s words concerning how I should love Jonathan as my
husband and a fellow believer wash over me (verses like Song of Songs
8:6-7, John 17:22-23, 1 Corinthians 13:4-6,
1
Peter 4:7-11, or even – for kicks – 1 Peter 5:14), God’s word
admonishes and encourages me to rehearse constantly.
Rehearse the words of encouragement that I can share with my spouse, as a
gifted and uniquely created man. And tell him what I love about him and
how he treats me (there’s nothing like positive reinforcement!).
Repeatedly forgive so that he feels safe, and knows I find him
trustworthy. And don’t bring short-comings back up to wound him.
Romance him with intimacy, touch, and affection so he feels that there
is no one else I would rather be with.
Read the Bible and pray with him, so that we are regularly submitted to
the One who upholds the sanctity and life of our marriage, and receive
inspiration and guidance from the Lord.
Sharifa Stevens
Sharifa Stevens is a Manhattan-born, Bronx-raised child of the King, born to Jamaican immigrants, and currently living in Dallas. Sharifa's been singing since she was born. Her passion is to serve God's kingdom by leading His people in worship through music, speaking and writing, and relationships with people. Her heart is also unity, inspired by John. Sharifa hates exercise but likes Chipotle, bagels with a schmeer and lox, salmon sushi, chicken tikka, curried goat (yeah, it's good) with rice and peas, and chocolate lava cakes. She's been happily married to Jonathan since 2006...and he buys her Chipotle.
2 Comments
bible sweepstakes
Marriage is a love triangle.
Marriage is a love triangle. It is a relationship between the husband and wife and of course God. For He is the one that binds the marriage.
cp
so sad
Sharifa-
I appreciate your post on this subject. As a woman who has recently had to deal with chronic unfaithfulness that has ended my marriage, I relate to the pain of these public figures. Sadly, many times (not all but many), it’s more than unfaithfulness. It’s a sex addiction. It is a wicked and painful addiction both to the struggler, the spouse, and the rest of the family. Though sex addiction has recently come to the forefront of the christian community, I don’t think we realize how giant and prevalent this problem is. My encouragement for the spouses who have partners who struggle with sex addiction is to get some help for yourself. Even if the addict refuses help, the spouse needs a safe place to process thoughts, emotions, and the betrayal. If I hadn’t sought counseling for myself, I’m not sure I would have survived the pain and would have understood that I have choices too. As much as I believe that God has been in the midst of my pain and heartache, I needed a “Jesus with skin on” to help me remember that. I appreciate your reminder to be faithful to the Lord and loving to our husbands- we can’t hear that enough. I believe God wants us to fight for our marriages with all that we have. Sometimes, the fight can’t be won, but we can still honor God and our spouses in the midst of that.