Measuring Our Lives
“The most vital way to measure our lives is not by chronological time – chronos – but in terms of kairos, the word often used in the Bible to speak of those opportune times that become turning points.” – Leighton Ford, The Attentive Life
“The most vital way to measure our lives is not by chronological time – chronos – but in terms of kairos, the word often used in the Bible to speak of those opportune times that become turning points.” – Leighton Ford, The Attentive Life
Efficiency is an incredibly high value of mine. It is valued to a fault when I bring upon myself greater stress than is necessary and find myself frustrated when others do not use time well. Time can also be used competitively. How long did it take someone to run a particular distance? How quickly can a certain task be finished or goal achieved? How far has someone gotten by a particular age?
I claim not to be competitive but if I am honest with myself I use chronological time competitively and rate myself in comparison to others. For example, if you’re younger than me, you better not be farther and if you’re older than me, don’t worry, I’ll catch up to you.
What is it about measuring our lives (subsequently our worth) by chronological time? We are told by this age we should have a college degree, by another age we should be married, by another age we should have an advanced degree, oh and of course you should have kids by a certain age, you should have your own business or ministry by this age and if you aren’t “progressing” career-wise then you have failed somehow. Make sure also that you’re in tip top physical shape while doing all of these things. If you’ve written a book before the age of 30 people are jealous of you and if you have completed your family and written a book by the age of 35 people just hate you (well, maybe just really dislike you). I’m totally making some of this up but that is what it feels like sometimes – that the measure of our life is based on reaching certain “goals” according to our chronological age. So many of my friends get incredibly discouraged when they have not reached a particular milestone by a certain point in life. I do not know that I had particular milestones, but I love to be moving forward and am frustrated when I am slowed down. I do not like that I cannot necessarily set my own pace and really do not like it when someone else does not have to and passes me by.
When I had my son, life had to slow down. Now mind you, I still worked, still moved forward in my ministry, but definitely had to slow down as I watched friends and colleagues move at a pace much faster than mine. It was incredibly frustrating. I did not want to slow down. I did not want to have to slow down, but I needed to. I looked at it as a “have to” rather than an “opportune time” and little did I know that I was competing and measuring my life by chronos time rather than kairos time.
So many times I get frustrated because life isn’t going at my pace (most of the time that means not fast enough but there are those rare occasions where it does go too fast and I grieve the time lost). My heart is tied up in measuring my life by chronological time, by the clock, rather than by moments. (Did I mention I also love productivity?) We all know that a rich moment does not have to be a long one. There is a depth to moments that cannot be measured by a clock or calendar. I wish I were more patient and more attentive to these moments and opportune times. They mold and shape me. They allow me to have joy, contentment, peace and to see God and others in deeper and more grateful ways. I need to be reminded over and over again that time moves three dimensionally – it can be measured by depth and not just length and that depth of time is often far more rich than length of time.
May we all begin to measure our lives by those opportune times rather than by the clock and by the calendar. May we not look around to see how another is doing on their clock but to consider the kairos time in which God is working and allow Him to deepen us, transform us and influence the world around us.
