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My Pastor Broke My Trust Which Catalyzed My Journey to a New Ministry

Has a ministry leader ever broken your trust?

A decade ago, a Bible church pastor and my soon-to-be boss broke mine. I had been the ministry leader for women for three years, and my leadership team was preparing a five-week class for women (a ministry initiative approved by the pastoral staff through a detailed, formal process). We wanted women to have the opportunity to learn how to study the Bible in-depth, including word studies, using commentaries, etc. It was one of several adult Bible class options offered during the middle hour of our three Sunday morning services.

Pastor Tim [name changed] stopped by my office and said he had concerns about our upcoming women’s class. Seated in a chair facing my desk he explained that he had discussed the matter in the pastors’ meeting that morning. “There is now unanimous agreement not to offer the class,” he said. I was stunned and shaken.

“Okay, we’ll cancel the class, of course,” I replied. The walls in my office seemed to close in. With an unexpectedly shaky voice, I asked, “Could you please help me understand why you’re not in favor of it?”

He gave me three reasons:

  • It puts volunteers in conflict. “We need the women to serve in their respective ministry areas.”
  • It puts families in conflict. “What are husbands to do with the children while moms are in class?!”
  • “We [the pastors] don’t want to set the precedent of a woman teaching the Bible on a Sunday morning.”

My chin dropped. The dull gray carpet under my white sandals blurred as hot tears raced down my cheeks. My body pulsed and it felt like some violent force had cracked open my chest, grabbed my heart, and was squeezing it, hard. I hurt.

I heard a click. Lifting my head, I realized Tim was closing my door behind him.

A click and a closing door. With that click, clarity unfolded in my mind. None of the pastors had stood up for the women. And despite my tenure and faithful service, they hadn’t valued my voice enough to invite me into the discussion. My weeping response made sense.

I wept for the women of our church—women I cherished and esteemed—because this decision reflected our pastors’ valuation of them. I wept for myself and the realization that my ministry there had come to a close, without warning or solace.

Unfortunately, there were compounding reasons why I needed to leave. The crescendo, however, was the “unanimous” pastoral decision. The following morning, with the surpassing peace of the Lord and urging of my husband, I submitted my resignation.

As God does, he used something that was not good as a catalyst for something very good. With my newfound time, after a season of grieving and healing, I accelerated my studies in seminary. During the next eight years, I went on study trips to Israel, Italy, and Greece, interned with an esteemed professor, received writing training and was published, taught the Bible to women in Mexico, Haiti, and Ukraine, and earned two seminary degrees. During my doctoral studies, the Lord empowered me to birth my current ministry—writing and teaching about women and the church.

God called me out of serving women in the local church and into a prolonged season of studying theology and all 66 books of the Bible, including the New Testament in its original language—word studies and commentaries included. [Oh, the irony!] By divine design, he equipped me to teach Christ-followers worldwide, females and males, how and what to study and sift in the scriptures to develop their theology of women.

God values women. He cherishes his daughters. He equips them to serve with their gifts. Read more here. And, the Lord calls all believers to read and learn Scripture, individually and corporately. A decade since that catalyzing pastoral decision, I’m still deeply invested in showing women they are valued by the Holy One. What say you, Church?

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Image: Photo by Danie Franco on Unsplash

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Have YOU studied the scriptures to form your theology of women, or are you relying on a borrowed one? I encourage you to look at the whole of Scripture as you develop your understanding of what it says about women and their gifts—and to call out those who cherry-pick verses out of context. Read more about Theology of Women Academy here.

Dr. Cynthia Hester teaches, writes, and speaks on topics of faith and women, both women in the Bible and church history. A graduate of Dallas Theological Seminary with a Doctor of Ministry (DMin, 2022), Cynthia writes at cynthiahester.com and is a contributing author to the book 40 Questions About Women in Ministry (Kregel, 2023). She has also written articles published at Fathommag.org, Parker County Today, heartstrongfaith.com, and the Fort Worth Star-Telegram. In 2021, Cynthia founded Theology of Women Academy.® In this online academy, she teaches Christ-followers, including ministry leaders, the spectrum of orthodox views on women and the church to equip them to develop their beliefs—their theology of women. You can follow her on Facebook, Instagram, or Twitter.

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