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“You’ll Shoot Your Eye Out!” A Lesson in Unfulfilled Longings
One of my favorite holiday movies is the 1983 film “A Christmas Story.” The plot of this iconic film follows Ralphie, a young boy whose childhood will be complete once he acquires an official Red Ryder Carbine-Action Two-Hundred-Shot Range Model Air Rifle. Letting his desire be known to anyone who will listen, Ralphie's longing is repeatedly assailed by responsible adults all around: “You’ll shoot your eye out!”
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The Tapeworm Gallery: Candy-Coated Catnap
October 29. Just hearing someone utter "pumpkin" gets you giddy like a high school cheerleader. But not this year… Despite what Pastor Mike says, Grace and Christian should attend the Monsters' Ball. They will make a fine vampire-ballerina and zombie-policeman for this innocuous school dance. Besides, they haven't dressed up since grade school. People need to relax with the whole "Halloween is evil" bit. Since when is fun a bad thing? Since half-baked, fanatic, church weirdos said so? Just don't let their Halloween pictures land on Facebook. You don't need Pastor Mike's wife getting into your business . . . again. Speaking of meddling . . . your dread pirate mother-in-law,…