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Hope Deferred—Observations from Hannah’s Story
She pushed herself up from the table and left the room. She did not have much appetite. The day had been long, and she could take the painful and provoking comments from Peninnah no longer. As she walked towards the temple, tears poured from her eyes and slid down her cheeks and nose, making a wet trail in the dust. Her lips moved as she prayed, but she did not utter a sound as she pleaded and begged the LORD for a child. To make matters worse, the priest believed her to be not grieved, but rather, drunk. (1 Sam. 1:7–14) Hannah suffered much because of her childless state. Many…
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From Fears to Tears
In a previous blog post, I’m Scared, Lord, I wrote about my apprehensions concerning my upcoming hip replacement surgery. My doctor was cheerfully confident that I would not experience the post-operative pain I was afraid of, but I was all-too-aware of my potential complications. As a polio survivor, I’m twice as sensitive to pain as those whose brains were not infected by the poliovirus. On top of that, I was extremely aware of the fact that my severely arthritic hips had become basically frozen, leaving me with a limited range of motion. I knew that the surgeon and her team would be moving my legs in all kinds of unnatural…
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Let My Tears Flow
This month I am thankful to have guest blogger, Marnie Legaspi, instruct us on how to appropriately minister to those who grieve. “Sister, I have cancer.” My stomach dropped. My body felt numb. My brain whirled with worst case scenarios. I tried to be brave. Every fiber in my being wanted to believe my thirty-eight year old brother was playing some kind of cruel joke. Who jokes about cancer, though? No one. The carcinoma that grew inside my big brother’s body advanced quickly, ravaging him within a mere six months. As I literally watched the tumors grow and protrude through his skin, my grief often came hard and fast leaving…
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Pain and Redemption, Loss and Hope: Ponderings on the Significance of the Resurrection
My earliest memories of Easter include new church dresses with hats and patton shoes, intense searches for plastic eggs with the rare $2 bill stuffed inside, and loads of Cadbury chocolate, complete with the resulting stomach-ache. The day came and went with a little bit of anticipation, but nominal impact on my day-to-day life. As I grew up, the cognitive recognition that Easter celebrated something important, something critical, something that all of reality hinges upon, was not lost on me. However, the disconnect between head and heart can sometimes keep the significance of an event at a distance. I would reflect on its importance for a moment, perhaps at a…
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Offering Comfort in a Hurting World
Wherever in the world you live, you can point to terrible incidences of suffering, hurt or violence. Sadly, I’ve sometimes seen myself in articles and blogs about what not to say to a grieving or suffering person. But I’ve also been blessed to receive meaningful expressions of comfort at times when I have suffered or lost a loved one. Here are five things I have found helpful on the receiving end of comfort: Be present. At the death of my father, my late brother’s high school friend, Danny, came to his memorial service. Simply his presence and his embrace lifted our hearts. He didn’t need to say anything or bring…
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Groaning
Today, I am pleased to feature guest blogger Dani Ross. Dani is one of my favorite friends to grab a cup of coffee with and talk about life; I love getting her thoughts on anything from dispensationalism to home decor. Dani resides in Flower Mound, TX, and is a wife and mother of three young boys. She is pursuing a double masters degree in Christian Leadership and Systematic Theology at Dallas Theological Seminary. The other day I decided to gut our upstairs of all of the stuff we have accumulated as we have moved from from one side of the country to the other. I’m not very sentimental. For…
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God with “Skin On”
Thanksgiving offically kicks off the “Holiday Season” and sounds of the season surround us. Decorations abound, lists begin, shopping survives Black Friday. For many this annual season recalls warm memories and anticipates new ones. I discovered this year a family Facebook picture that included the newest member sporting a tiny tee shirt with the words “I’m New Here.” That clever line brought a smile to my face. However, for some, if not many, aspects of this season prove difficult. Perhaps because of painful memories of seasons past or traversing a first season without a loved one gone, they struggle to enter into the celebration. It could be added stress financially…
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A Letter to Orlando
My phone buzzed with the breaking headlines from Fox News, “Deadliest mass shooting in American history… It could take several days to identify all of the victims.” I sighed in disbelief as my husband explained, “There’s been another shooting, this time at a nightclub in Orlando.” I had a different blog post written and scheduled for today, but last night I deleted it from the queue. Another time perhaps, but not today. Today we must not talk politics, or point fingers, or have arguments, or agendas. Today we must simply mourn. What happened yesterday could have occurred anywhere…in my town, in a nearby school, in a local theater, even in…
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GOOD GRIEF: Seven Steps to Embracing Emotions- #6- Protect Who They Are by Teaching Them How to Say a Healthy Good-bye
Life is a continual series of gains and losses. Even at birth, as we gain entrance to this world, we lose the soothing sound of our mother’s heartbeat. For months the rhythm of her heart has been the sound of safety and our first lullaby. In a very traumatic moment it is lost to the chaotic sound of our own first breath followed by our piercing cry for comfort lost. With every gain in this life some measure of loss is experienced. The price for having is the surety of loss. Loss is inevitable but it doesn’t have to be devastating. Staying in the womb is not a…
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GOOD GRIEF: Seven Steps to Embracing Emotions- #5 Believing that Feelings are a gift from God
Step five is best understood when preceded with a little recap of the first four steps. First, we must be honest about what we feel. Don’t pretend that giving up something is easy. It isn’t. Humans want to hold on, be in control, and even determine our own destiny. Validate their feelings. Ask them why they think they are having those feelings. Share with them when you’ve had similar feelings. Remind them that feelings are from God to help us make wise and good decisions. Second, we must normalize feelings. Loss is a part of our lives. We lose track of time. We lose lots of stuff: everything from…
