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The Dating Game: The Tricks We Play to Get God to Send Us Our Prize

Father, I just want you to know that this is it. I’ve officially given up the search for a man. From now on, I’m done with the whole thing, and I’ll just live for you. Come what may.

There, I’d said the magic words. I cracked my eyes open to see if a man had now dropped out of the sky. Nope. I went about my weeks looking high and low for that man that God was now going to put in my life because I was done with the dating thing. Nada.

But it worked for that other girl! She told me so.

Father, I just want you to know that this is it. I’ve officially given up the search for a man. From now on, I’m done with the whole thing, and I’ll just live for you. Come what may.

There, I’d said the magic words. I cracked my eyes open to see if a man had now dropped out of the sky. Nope. I went about my weeks looking high and low for that man that God was now going to put in my life because I was done with the dating thing. Nada.

But it worked for that other girl! She told me so.

Time moved on. I tried a more honest prayer.

Father, I just want you to know that this is it. I’m using this prayer to trick you into thinking that I’m done so that you’ll send the man I’m to marry. It’s the best I can do. Come what may.

What came was a myriad of books and advice on how to find the right Godly man and marry him. I kissed dating good-bye, kissed it hello, and kissed it out the door again. I had passion and purity. I flirted and courted and dreamed and ignored. I made male friends and group dated and solo dated and sat at home. I bought a vanilla candle and burned it every night for a few
weeks (bet, you haven’t even heard of that one). Finally, worn out, I got real honest.

God, I’m embarrassed about how much time and energy this takes. I’m not going to lie, I want to get married and I’m not giving it up. But, I don’t want to be 80 and in the nursing home and still dreaming of marriage having spent at least half my life and energy thinking about that dream. So, what’s next?

Well, that’s the topic of this new series I’m going to be exploring over the next few weeks: The Dating Game: The Tricks We Play to Get God to Send Us Our Prize. We’ll spend time exploring how we try to apply every person’s story to our own, how stories that should be descriptive become prescriptive, the tricks we try, the result of the pursuit that we all struggle with, and what we really should be pursuing.

If you’ve ever tried to make someone else’s relational success story your own, then you’re in the right place. So stop trying to figure out where you can locate your local threshing floor and stay tuned.

Jamie Lath is a middle child that has no baby picture without her older sister in it. Even with only two siblings, she grew up with family everywhere because all her aunts, uncles, grandparents, cousins, and even second-cousins lived in her hometown. With forty people at her birthday parties (all relatives) and her sister in every picture, she knows a little about community, and it's everlastingness. This has brought most of her ministry focus into meeting people where they're at, listening closely (especially to those who feel voiceless and like no one is listening), and helping them find God's voice in the mix. Jamie graduated with a BA in Communication Studies from the University of North Texas. Following a year of teaching English in China, she returned to the states to attend Dallas Theological Seminary. She received a Th.M. with a focus on Media Arts. Her background in the arts (ballet, writing, and acting) has given her an understanding of how creative expressions can give people a safe place to begin exploring how to use their voice and how it can touch hearts to hear God’s voice. She also blogs at I just called to say "Olive Juice."

8 Comments

  • Sue Bohlin

    Don’t you just hate it. . .
    . . . when God doesn’t respond to our manipulations? Thanks for your honesty, Jamie! Looking forward to the rest of your series!

    • Jamie Lath

      It makes me laugh
      Totally makes me laugh once I catch myself doing it. Hopefully he laughs too. At least at the outright ridiculous ones.

  • Sharifa Stevens

    Jamie, I can’t wait to read
    Jamie, I can’t wait to read this. And if you need anecdotes on what not to do, you know I have plenty of stories. :o)

    • Jamie Lath

      I’d love to hear them
      I can use all the anecdotes I can get, altough I’ve lived through quite a few myself. : )

  • Laura Singleton

    Oh, this is gonna be good!
    Wow–this is such a pitfall for us. Those formulas to force God’s Hand. I am SO glad you’re tackling the subject (plus it makes me laugh, too)!

    • Jamie Lath

      I’m glad…
      that we can laugh at ourselves. At least that means that we’re actually seeing what we’re doing and how silly it is.

  • Julianna

    Definitely been there! I am
    Definitely been there! I am excited to hear what you have to say on the subject. I spent an entire year of my life attempting to “sacrifice my desire for a man” whatever that means…spent most of my time telling God that I would be happy all by myself, all the while hoping that it would convince him to send me mr.right! *sigh* We can be so silly sometimes.