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Adios Summer!

Have you ever had a moment in time when you felt completely unworthy? Out of nowhere a season of wrestling, heartache and loneliness takes a hold of you and you don’t know what to do? You can barely breathe and everything you do just feels wrong? You feel disconnected from everyone and from God? Ever felt like this before?

 
Let’s face it, feeling unworthy is for the birds! It’s not fun at all. Talk about a joy killer! I felt like this most of the summer and it brought me to my knees. I’m seriously thankful to say adios to a very difficult time in my life.
 
Yes, I know. I understand I need to have faith in God in times of trouble. Yes, I know about His sovereignty, His character, and His faithfulness. I know I must endure these moments of sorrow, release control and lay it all at His feet. I know. I know. I know.
 
But I hurt—deep. I felt tired—physically and emotionally. I felt lost, alone and unworthy. And I didn’t understand why!
 
Somehow the unpredictable events of this summer surprised me. I felt overwhelmed and the helpless feeling frightened me so much that I found myself in shock about the whole thing and I didn’t know what to do. 
 
And then it happened. One hot, restless night, I got on my knees and with all my unworthiness and fear, I just silently waited. There in the midst of my pain, in the early hours of the day, I called to the Lord and I remembered His commands.
 
Cast all your anxieties on Him. (1 Peter 5:7)
 
Don’t worry. Seek Him instead. (Matthew 6:25–34)
 
Set your mind on things above and bring Christ into your thoughts. (Colossians 3:2)
 
Worship with thanksgiving in ALL circumstances, especially when I feel unworthy. (1 Thessalonians 5:18)
 
Think, speak, and show grace to those around you. (Ephesians 4:29)
 
Rejoice! Focus on the joy that comes with trusting God. (Philippians 4:4)
 
Make the best of this time. This time doesn’t make sense, but it doesn’t surprise God. (Ephesians 5:16; Romans 8:28)
 
Serve with thanksgiving. Be grateful even in the darkness and serve others. (1 Peter 4:10–11)
 
Love God. Love Him even in these dark times, even in the dog days of summer. (Matthew 22:37)
 
Amazing isn’t it? When we feel unworthy and lonely, God gives us opportunities to obey His commands — to trust Him, to learn, to grow, to rely more on His grace.
 
And it’s all good. It benefits us to stop trying to fix everything and find solutions and answers to all of our troubles. I don’t have to understand everything, I just need to obey Him.
 
And I’m thankful, seriously thankful for a God whose commands “…teach us what is true and to make us realize what is wrong in our lives. It corrects us when we are wrong and teaches us to do what is right. God uses it to prepare and equip his people to do every good work” (2 Tim. 3:16–17, NLT).
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Raquel Wroten (MAMC, Dallas Theological Seminary) was born in McAllen, Texas but has lived in the Dallas/Fort Worth area most of her life. Raised by a single mother, Raquel grew up knowing the meaning of diversity, creativity, and chaos through her four brothers and three sisters. The greatest gift she ever received came from her mother who taught her that living as a believer doesn’t mean perfection, it means grace. Raquel met her husband Rick at a church retreat in Oklahoma on a cold November weekend. They dated for a year and got married in June 1992. A couple of years later, Rick graduated with his ThM, and they welcomed Joshua. . .then Abby. . .and surprise, it’s Anna! Intermixing their cultures, the Wrotens have established a variety of traditions along with interesting combinations of food. Raquel believes that ministry begins at home so she finds new ways of serving those she calls her own. Raquel serves as editor of DTS Magazine and enjoys writing (in English, Spanish and Spanglish), cooking, coffee, education and serving up a feast for her friends and family.