Family Values

The last presidential debate ended this week. We will soon go to the polls and we will hopefully move forward, trusting God with the future of our nation. Thanksgiving approaches and soon after, the Christmas rush begins. With the holidays around the corner, folks anticipate their greatest stress — family.

The last presidential debate ended this week. We will soon go to the polls and we will hopefully move forward, trusting God with the future of our nation. Thanksgiving approaches and soon after, the Christmas rush begins. With the holidays around the corner, folks anticipate their greatest stress — family.

My pastor recently preached about family relationships. With each point, he reminded “his family” about some essentials that should never change and he gave us biblical principles that we should follow. He encouraged us to memorize the list, share it, and enjoy the benefits of practicing the list.

Family can bring many challenges, especially when each member displays more differences than commonalities. We experience relationship problems everyday with our work family, our church and even in our homes. With each season come adjustments especially during difficult times. Some situations stretch us so thin we end up on our knees. We need to have a willingness to change if we hope to sustain harmony within our families. Living peacefully involves taking intentional steps towards cooperation, friendship and fellowship.

Consider these relationship fundamentals that never change:
• No challenge is impossible in any family. Whether we find ourselves in a mess, heartache, or feel completely abandoned, nothing is impossible for God (Luke 1:37, Mark 10:27, Matt. 19:26).
• Parents for life! No child (at any age) can proclaim authority over his/her parent. Remember that God created order from the very beginning (Genesis 1). When we try to change it, we get into trouble (Matt. 15:3-5; Eph. 6:1-3)
• Family needs family! They are interrelated. Paul wrote so much about how (as a family of God) we affect each other. It applies in our homes too (Eph. 4:1-23)
• “…But by my Spirit says the Lord!” Our checklist should include love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, etc. If we have to “walk away” to get over ourselves during an argument, then we should, but we also need to prioritize reconciliation through the power of the Spirit not ourselves (Gal. 5:13-26).

So, what about those “intentional steps” mentioned earlier? Now that we have a grasp on the essentials, we need to have some principles to follow so when the hard comes, we will know how to conduct ourselves. Ephesians 4:25-32 gives us these guidelines:
• Speak truth (v. 25). Talk straight or as my husband says, “Don’t go around the barn to get through the door.”
• Choose passion (vv. 26, 27). Avoid passivity about your issue. My pastor said, “Anger should ignite your resolve.” Passivity should remain the enemy. Truth should be your goal.
• Stop thieving (v. 28). For children, remember that privileges are provided not demanded. When kids expect things, they steal the joy parents get from providing for them. For parents, remember to teach your kids to strive towards freedom and independence so that they can move closer in their dependency in God. When parents hold on to their kids by controlling them, they steal their freedom and independence and may even hinder their spiritual walk.
• Stay quiet. Instead of yelling through an argument, listen (vv. 29, 30).
• Think grace (vv. 29, 30). Leave the shame out of it. Give grace freely like our Heavenly Father gives every day.
• Be kind (vv. 31, 32). Work hard to have a gentle spirit towards others.

As you make your final decision on which presidential candidate you will vote for, consider applying these principles in your life today. I hope that you take the list above and do what my pastor called his flock to do — memorize it, share it, and enjoy the benefits of it. Hopefully, when Thanksgiving approaches and soon after the Christmas rush begins, you will find yourself anticipating your greatest joy — family.