My Life as a Spiritual Klutz

As I spend time each January doing some self-assessment, it becomes clear that I am a spiritual klutz. Why?


  • I don’t often see God answer my prayers quickly or miraculously.
  • I don’t rise before dawn and spend hours with God because I don’t wake up to a coherent state until well after the sun is up.
  • I rarely quote Bible verses because I don’t remember every word and have only a vague idea of where to find most of them. 
  • I seldom have people respond when I share about Jesus.
  • I am uncomfortable with what to say when someone hurts.
  • I know a lot about the Bible only because God made me a teacher, and I had to do the homework for the Bible studies I have done.
  • I argue with my husband. I want to spend my time my way. I find it impossible to love unconditionally. I like to be lazy. And I don’t always want to go to church on Sunday.

So now you know the short list. (I could have filled a book.)


What do I do with that? God has shown me to quit believing that all these other people have arrived as giants of the faith. Instead, I need to focus on moving forward in the journey, allowing him to work in and through me so that I constantly grow closer to the woman he wants me to be. I need to carve out space for him to speak to my heart each day through his Word and in prayer and run to him when I fail.


The New Year is still fresh, and I hope to take more time to assess where I am—which is never where I should be. But I also want to look back to remember where I was and express my thanks for the many ways God has already changed me. And I can keep on doing the work that he puts before me each moment of each day and leave the results to him. 

Kay is a life-long Texan whose favorites are Tex-Mex, books that feed her soul or make her think, good movies and travel to new places. Her great joy is to serve God by teaching the Bible and developing women as servant-leaders. She is the Founder and Executive Director of Beyond Ordinary Women Ministries, which provides free videos, podcasts and articles as well as low-cost Bible studies to prepare Christian women for leadership. (beyondordinarywomen.org) Kay spent ten years leading women’s ministries on church staffs, most recently at Northwest Bible Church in Dallas. Kay is the author of From Ordinary Woman to Spiritual Leader: Grow your Influence, a practical guide to help Christian women influence others by applying foundational leadership skills to their lives and ministries, and a number of Bible studies for women, some are available at bible.org and the newer ones are found at beyondordinarywomen.org. Kay earned an M.A.C.E. from Dallas Theological Seminary and a D.Min. from Gordon-Conwell Theological Seminary in Effective Ministries to Women. Kay’s family includes a husband, two grown children, one son-in-law, two hysterical granddaughters and a Goldendoodle.