As I spend time each January doing some self-assessment, it becomes clear that I am a spiritual klutz. Why?
- I don’t often see God answer my prayers quickly or miraculously.
- I don’t rise before dawn and spend hours with God because I don’t wake up to a coherent state until well after the sun is up.
- I rarely quote Bible verses because I don’t remember every word and have only a vague idea of where to find most of them.
- I seldom have people respond when I share about Jesus.
- I am uncomfortable with what to say when someone hurts.
- I know a lot about the Bible only because God made me a teacher, and I had to do the homework for the Bible studies I have done.
- I argue with my husband. I want to spend my time my way. I find it impossible to love unconditionally. I like to be lazy. And I don’t always want to go to church on Sunday.
So now you know the short list. (I could have filled a book.)
What do I do with that? God has shown me to quit believing that all these other people have arrived as giants of the faith. Instead, I need to focus on moving forward in the journey, allowing him to work in and through me so that I constantly grow closer to the woman he wants me to be. I need to carve out space for him to speak to my heart each day through his Word and in prayer and run to him when I fail.
The New Year is still fresh, and I hope to take more time to assess where I am—which is never where I should be. But I also want to look back to remember where I was and express my thanks for the many ways God has already changed me. And I can keep on doing the work that he puts before me each moment of each day and leave the results to him.