Six Ways Parents Can Ease Separation Anxiety

There is no magic cure all for separation anxiety. When your child cries and clings to your leg, it can prick your heart. But, like it or not, it is a normal part of growing up and can be a good sign. It shows that you and your child have a special bond. While it’s not always easy to leave your child with a nursery worker or Sunday school teacher, there are some ways to make those times of separation easier.

There is no magic cure all for separation anxiety. When your child cries and clings to your leg, it can prick your heart. But, like it or not, it is a normal part of growing up and can be a good sign. It shows that you and your child have a special bond. While it’s not always easy to leave your child with a nursery worker or Sunday school teacher, there are some ways to make those times of separation easier.

Practice. Let your child be around other people on a regular basis. Whether it is a play date with another toddler or inviting people over to your home for dinner, initiate frequent contact with the outside world.

When friends are around, encourage your child to say “hello,” wave, or play for awhile. Teach them the difference between strangers and friends. It is okay for them to be wary of people they don’t know, but help them learn who they can trust and how to be comfortable with making friends.

In some cases, it is helpful to start off with short intervals of being gone.  For instance, you might let your child play with a trusted friend or family member for 15 minutes while you make a quick run to the store. Your child will grow more comfortable as he or she realizes that you always come back and you will be able to gradually increase your time away.

Preparation. If possible, make sure your child is fed, changed, and well rested before dropping him or her off with a caregiver. Eliminating these triggers can make a world of difference. A full child is better equipped to face a new situation.

Routine.  Have a customary way of saying good bye, such as kiss on the forehead or a high five.  Kids tend to find security in routines, and it will help remind them that you are coming back.

Stay calm. If you are reassuring, your child will automatically feel more comfortable. A gentle smile and an encouraging sentence such as “Look at all these fun toys,” or “Have fun! I’ll be back after snack time is over” go a long way toward putting him or her at ease.

Don’t sneak out. While it might make it easier to get out the door without a child grabbing your leg, it will only make things more difficult in the long run and could cause distrust from your child.

Keep your good byes short and sweet. You don’t have to rush out at the drop of a hat, but belaboring the good bye time often makes it more difficult. Once you are gone, resist the urge to come back and check on your child. If you must, don’t let your child see you.

Separation anxiety is no fun, but with a little encouragment and reassurance both you and your toddler can make it through. Praise your child as he or she adjusts to those temporary times apart. Let them know you are proud of them. Next time I’ll take a look at ways children’s workers can help ease separation anxiety.