Swirly/Crazy/Lost

Sometimes I get swirly/crazy/lost. Maybe I’ve committed to a big opportunity that will stretch me, that sounded amazing at first but corners me like a b-movie villian as the deadline closes in. Or when I have a plan–a good plan, a plan to prosper me and not harm me–that suddenly get trashed. Or when everything’s a little out of control. Mostly, though, I get swirly/crazy/lost when I compare my circumstances to my abilities (think Attack of the 50 Foot PMSing Woman, and I’m about to be squished underfoot).

Sometimes I get swirly/crazy/lost. Maybe I’ve committed to a big opportunity that will stretch me, that sounded amazing at first but corners me like a b-movie villian as the deadline closes in. Or when I have a plan–a good plan, a plan to prosper me and not harm me–that suddenly get trashed. Or when everything’s a little out of control. Mostly, though, I get swirly/crazy/lost when I compare my circumstances to my abilities (think Attack of the 50 Foot PMSing Woman, and I’m about to be squished underfoot).

This are not my most biblically-guided times. Although there is a lot of prayer, it’s often the wrong type: "God, please cause the school to shut down for three week so I have more time to do my paper." "Lord, can you arrange food poisoning so I’ll have an excuse not to speak?" "Father, you tell us to come to you with our needs. Right now, I’m pretty sure I need an angel to come write this chapter for me. Can you spare Gabriel for a few minutes?"

Then, somewhere in the midst of my swirling, I hear God. It’s not easy, with a tornado of chaos blowing around my head, but I hear just a bit of what He’s saying. I try to focus on that, try to catch what he’s saying, try to slow down so I can hear Him better. When I do, I hear stories. 

Peter walks on water, then begins to sink when his focus shifts from Jesus to the storm (Matt 14:24-30). Elijah, fresh off spiritual victories, yields to discouragement and wants to give up (1 Kings 19:3-4). John the Baptist, having served so faithfully and having personally baptized Christ, sends his followers to make sure Jesus was The One. (Matt 11:1-2).

I’d expect God to roll His eyes and say, "Really? We’re here again?" But the Bible shows us that in discouraging times, God meets His people with His presence and encouragement and provision first. Only then comes correction. When Peter started sinking, Jesus didn’t say "Oh you of little faith–I can’t believe you’re doubting. Hope you can swim."  The first thing he did was put out his hand and rescue Peter. Only after Peter was restored did he ask "Why did you doubt?" (Matt 14:31).

God provided Elijah with food and water and rest. He allowed Elijah to return to the place where he’d been in God’s presence before. He showed him His power and His tenderness. God listened to Elijah and showed him who He was. Then He clued Elijah into reality (1 Kings 19:3-18).

Jesus treated John the Baptist with kindness in his moment of doubt. He sent a message of reassurance and commended the prophet to the crowd (Matt 11:4-11).

God comes to the scared and the discouraged with kindness and provision and reassurance. He meets our needs–physical, emotional, spiritual. He corrects our perspective and our behavior as a good father teaches his children, because He is, and we are. In the midst of the swirly/crazy/lost, God comes near and I can breathe again.