Five more days and I’m giddy like a high school cheerleader who just made a C+ on an Algebra test. Can’t wait to see the outcome of months of campaigning—and decades of moral decay. I have found the debates more entertaining than a pastor getting busted for child porn. And now it’s down to two skunks competing in a pissing match. I haven’t enjoyed a US presidential campaign this much since 1860. A little division goes a long way. But don’t fret. I’m not. Because this time…I win either way.             Never mind the issues. A presidential candidate cannot possess both good and bad…