Fourteen years. In just a few days my husband and I will bask in springtime Pacific desert beauty as we celebrate our wedding anniversary. And on such an occasion as this, I remember “The List.” For if not for “The List,” our marriage could have ended in a legal battle over who gets to keep the Moroccan mosaic glass light fixtures.              Over a decade ago, I read every book I could find on marriage. I would like to say I’ve got the whole wife thing down. I do OK on most days—all glory to “The List.”          Allow me to rewind. I consider…