Why Have So Many Christians and Churches Become Pro-Gay?
A recent email from a friend: “Sue, I’m seeing more and more ‘evangelical’ churches come out in support of gay marriage. Also, Christian friends are changing their views on the validity of the LGBT lifestyle being acceptable for a Christ-follower. I start worrying that I’m missing something, and even start questioning my beliefs.”
No, my dear friend, you are not missing something, but it is a good time to question (not doubt) your beliefs so you can be more convinced than ever that the Creator God has not changed and neither has His word.
I think there are two big reasons so many confessing believers in Christ have allowed themselves to be more shaped by the culture than by the truth of God’s word, drifting into spiritual compromise and even into apostasy (abandoning the truth of one’s faith). This is not a new problem; the apostle Paul urged his readers in Rome, “Don’t let the world around you squeeze you into its own mold, but let God re-mold your minds from within. . .” (Romans 12:2, Phillips).
Reason One: Rejecting the Authority of God’s Word
The bitter fruit of several decades of shallow preaching, teaching and discipleship is that many believers have been especially vulnerable to Satan’s deceptive question to Eve in the Garden of Eden: “Did God really say . . .?” When Christians ignore or flat-out reject the unmistakably clear biblical statements condemning homosexual relationships, they are playing into the enemy’s temptation to justify disobedience by making feelings and perceptions more important than God’s design and standards.
There are now two streams of thought on same-sex relationships and behavior, the Traditional View and the Revisionist View. The Revisionist View basically says, “It doesn’t matter what the Bible actually says, it doesn’t mean what 2000 years of church history has said it means, it means what we want it to say.”
People are redefining the Bible, gender and marriage according to what will let them do what they want, when they should (in my opinion) be asking the insightful question posed by Paul Mooris in Shadow of Sodom, “[A]m I trying to interpret Scripture in the light of my proclivity, or should I interpret my proclivity in the light of Scripture?”
The Bible:
Traditional View
The Bible is inspired by a Holy God and is inherently true and trustworthy. The Bible is written by men, but divinely inspired by the Holy Spirit and is sealed by a God of truth and authority.
Revisionist View
The scriptures which traditional Christianity understands to condemn homosexuality [such as Leviticus 18:22 and 20:13; Romans 1:26-27; 1 Corinthians 6:9-10; 1 Timothy 1:9-10] have either been mistranslated, yanked out of context or were only appropriate to the culture of that time. Therefore, we no longer have to follow passages we don’t like.
Sexuality:
Traditional View
Sexuality and sex are God’s good gifts to men and women. While sexuality is an essential attribute of human nature, our Creator did not intend it to be the defining characteristic of humanity.
Revisionist View
Sexuality—the feelings and attractions one feels for other people—is God ordained, diverse, deeply personal and morally permissible. One’s sexual orientation, whatever it is, should be celebrated as one of God’s good gifts.
Gender:
Traditional View
God created both male and female in His image, and each gender reflects different aspects of the imago Dei. God’s sovereign choice of gender for every person reflects His intention for that person’s identity; it is one of the ways in which he or she glorifies Him as Creator.
Revisionist View
We are free to make a distinction between sex and gender. Sex is biological maleness or femaleness at birth, and gender is how one feels about their “true” maleness or femaleness internally. Based on Galatians 3:28, “there is no male and female, for you are all one in Christ Jesus.”
Marriage:
Traditional View
Marriage is God-ordained between one man and one woman in a lifelong, monogamous, covenantal relationship. The Bible begins with the marriage of Adam and Eve, and ends with the marriage of the Lamb (Jesus) and the Bride (the church). The complementarity of husband and wife express God’s intention of both genders in marriage.
Revisionist View
Homosexual behavior is appropriate within the confines of a committed, loving, monogamous, lifelong, Christ-centered relationship.
Both individual Christians and churches have drifted into endorsing same-sex relationships because it always feels better to follow one’s flesh than to follow Jesus’ call to “deny yourself, take up your cross and follow Me” (Matthew 16:24).
Reason Two: Snagged by the Gay Agenda
In addition to those several decades of shallow preaching, teaching and discipleship I mentioned earlier, many believers have not been submitting themselves to the truth of the Word of God. By default, then, they were easily shaped and swayed by the six points of a brilliantly designed “Gay Manifesto” spelled out in a book called After the Ball: How America Will Conquer Its Fear and Hatred of Gays in the 90s. Originally published as an essay called “The Overhauling of Straight America” that was published in a gay magazine, the authors laid out this plan which has been executed perfectly in the United States. (The quotes below are from the essay, found here)
1. Desensitization and normalization of homosexuals in mainstream America. Talk about gays and gayness as loudly and often as possible.
“The principle behind this advice is simple: almost any behavior begins to look normal if you are exposed to enough of it at close quarters and among your acquaintances.
“In the early stages of any campaign to reach straight America, the masses should not be shocked and repelled by premature exposure to homosexual behavior itself. Instead, the imagery of sex should be downplayed and gay rights should be reduced to an abstract social question as much as possible. First let the camel get his nose inside the tent—only later his unsightly derriere!”
2. Portray members of the LGBTQ community as victims. Indoctrinate mainstream America that members of the LGBTQ community were “born this way.”
“In any campaign to win over the public, gays must be cast as victims in need of protection so that straights will be inclined by reflex to assume the role of protector.”
“Now, there are two different messages about the Gay Victim that are worth communicating. First, the mainstream should be told that gays are victims of fate, in the sense that most never had a choice to accept or reject their sexual preference. The message must read: ‘As far as gays can tell, they were born gay, just as you were born heterosexual or white or black or bright or athletic. Nobody ever tricked or seduced them; they never made a choice, and are not morally blameworthy. What they do isn’t willfully contrary – it’s only natural for them. This twist of fate could as easily have happened to you!'”
3. Give protectors a just cause: anti-discrimination
“Our campaign should not demand direct support for homosexual practices, should instead take anti-discrimination as its theme.”
4. The use of TV, music, film and social media to desensitize mainstream Americans to their plight as gay people
Over the past 25 years, gay characters, on TV especially, have captured the hearts of American viewers because they were attractive, funny, smart—the kind of characters viewers would like to be. No one was shown the dark underside of gay bars and bathhouses, or same-sex domestic violence, or having to get one’s HIV+ status checked.
5. Portray gays and lesbians as pillars in society. Make gays look good.
“From Socrates to Shakespeare, from Alexander the Great to Alexander Hamilton, from Michelangelo to Walt Whitman, from Sappho to Gertrude Stein, the list is old hat to us but shocking news to heterosexual America. In no time, a skillful and clever media campaign could have the gay community looking like the veritable fairy godmother to Western Civilization.”
Use celebrities and celebrity endorsement. And who doesn’t love Ellen DeGeneres?
6. Once homosexuals have begun to gain acceptance, anti-gay opponents must be vilified, causing them to be viewed as repulsive outcasts of society.
“Our goal is here is twofold. First, we seek to replace the mainstream’s self-righteous pride about its homophobia with shame and guilt. Second, we intend to make the antigays look so nasty that average Americans will want to dissociate themselves from such types.
“The public should be shown images of ranting homophobes whose secondary traits and beliefs disgust middle America. These images might include: the Ku Klux Klan demanding that gays be burned alive or castrated; bigoted southern ministers drooling with hysterical hatred to a degree that looks both comical and deranged; menacing punks, thugs, and convicts speaking coolly about the ‘fags’ they have killed or would like to kill; a tour of Nazi concentration camps where homosexuals were tortured and gassed.”
This is how I see how we got to this place where so many people have been deceived. They didn’t anchor themselves to the Truth of the Word of God, and they opened themselves to the cultural brine of Kirk and Madsen’s plan to overhaul straight America.
And it worked.
I will close with three personal observations about this situation:
- Christians have bought into the culture’s worship of feelings over God’s unchanging revelation
- People love how being a protector of the underdog makes them feel
- Not enough of us Christ-followers are living lives that demonstrate the beauty and satisfaction of abiding in Christ
To my sweet friend who asked the question, let me say: God’s good gift of sex and the intimacy of the marriage relationship is still intended ONLY for one man and one woman for life. In the beginning, one (Adam) became two (when God formed Eve from Adam), and then the two became one again. That is a deep mystery that makes all variations and deviations on God’s intention wrong.
I am indebted to Hope Harris for her insight and analysis of this question.
Sue Bohlin
Sue Bohlin is a speaker/writer and webmistress for Probe Ministries, a Christian organization that helps people to think biblically. She loves teaching women and laughing, and if those two can be combined, all the better. She also loves speaking for MOPS (Mothers of Pre-Schoolers) and Stonecroft Ministries (Christian Women's Clubs) on the topic How to Handle the Things You Hate But Can't Change, based on her lifelong experience as a polio survivor. She has a freelance calligraphy business in her home studio; hand lettering was her "Proverbs 31 job" while her children were young. Sue also serves on the board of Living Hope Ministries, a Christ-centered organization that helps people struggling with unwanted homosexuality and the family members of those with same-sex attractions. Sue never met a cruise ship she didn't like, especially now that God has provided a travel scooter for getting around any ship! She is happily married to Dr. Ray Bohlin, writer and speaker on faith and science with Probe Ministries, and they have two grown sons. You can follow Sue on Twitter @suebohlin.
22 Comments
DB
Marriage was redfined by “the church” a long time ago.
Many people now see the connection between divorce, contraception, abortion, and gay marriage. For the very idea of gay marriage to even make sense (much less be affirmed), marriage itself has to be redefined from a permanent, covenantal, sacramental union ordered toward procreation to a temporary, contractual, civil union ordered toward personal fulfillment. Once marriage is understood in this way (which happened decades before gay marriage was even an issue), the only difference between a heterosexual marriage and a homosexual one is the couple's gender. At that point, it's easy to make gay marriage seem like a civil rights issue and label dissenters as mere bigots.
Now, consider:
Who started the "reformation" that traded the authority of the Church for secular governments?
Who was it that changed the permanent covenant of marriage into a dissoluble contract?
Who founded America, and set up a government subject only to its own interpretation of its "authoritative" text?
Who separated marriage from childbearing by allowing contraception (and even abortion)?
Who affirmed and later ordained practicing homosexuals?
Who was it that began affirming and performing "gay marriages"?
Sue Bohlin
Interesting questions . . .
Obviously you have thought long and hard about this! How do you answer the questions?
Lenny Mares
Homosexual misbehavior
The devil is a liar and is working the world toward destruction. Jesus have mercy on us.
Sue Bohlin
Amen!
I agree! Prayer needs to be our #1 go-to reaction!
bmember
Don’t agree with this one….
You say… "Sex is biological maleness or femaleness at birth, and gender is how one feels about their "true" maleness or femaleness internally." Where in the world did you get that?
Look 'gender' up in a dictionary. Gender identifies specifically male or female. It's a fact, not how you 'feel' about being male or female.
But sex…that can refer to a lot of things other than male or female and can deal with 'feelings'.
Sue Bohlin
Not what I say . . .
That's not what I say, it's the position of the revisionists.
David Austin
comment
This should drive us to our knees in Prayer. Thanks Sue for this Blog
Sue Bohlin
Couldn’t agree more, Dave.
You are so right. Thank you.
Oh God, help us!
Judy75
Reformed already has a meaning
I appreciate the content of your article and for the most part it is well written. However, "Reformed" already has a meaning in Christianity. I think it would be helpful to choose a different term for the new view of sexuality.
Sue Bohlin
About “Reformed” . . .
Thanks, Judy, and you're right. I originally used "Reformed" because that's the one used by the Gay Christian Network, but it was unintentionally misleading. So today I changed it to "Revisionist."
Joe Soares
Good points in all!
All of this is of course just part of this fallen world that we live in. And we've been warned of exactly what is happening now:
1 Timothy 4:1-2
Some Will Depart from the Faith
4 Now the Spirit expressly says that in later times some will depart from the faith by devoting themselves to deceitful spirits and teachings of demons, 2 through the insincerity of liars whose consciences are seared,in their own conscience as with a branding iron,
scottmayo
apostasy
Joe,
If you are saying that this verse means that some people will lose their salvation, that is not Biblical. Once you are a new creation in Christ you are sealed by the Holy Spirit and there is nothing you can do to unearn this gift – especially since you never earned it to start out with. It is called Grace!
Sue Bohlin
End Times
Joe, I have thought many times about the whole "doctrine of demons" thing. To be honest, I think Islam, evolution, and the normalization of homosexuality and other forms of sexual brokenness constitute a kind of "religious hat trick" that are escorting us into darker and darker times as the stage is being set for Jesus' return.
Brent Voorhees
Proverbs 9:9
Your praise of Hope helping you, Sue, makes me think of this Proverb:
"Give instruction to a wise man, and he will be still wiser; teach a righteous man, and he will increase in learning."
Your humility and wisdom is a model for many, even for those like myself who have never even met you.
Thank you.
Sue Bohlin
Proverb
Thanks for connecting the dots between my blog post and the wonderful proverb, Brent! God has used you several times to encourage me on Join the Journey and I appreciate you very much!
Collin lee
Beautifully written, thank you for this valuable insight!
It is encouraging and refreshing to read such clear and reasonable explanations on the topic in question. Thank you for this Sue amd may the Lord continue to work in your life as He ordains… God bless.
Sue Bohlin
I appreciate your note
Thank you so much, Collin! Bless you for taking the time to write a note that uplifts me so much!
writerJerome
Gay Christians in our families and churches
Every civil rights advance has been supported and eventually won by Christians who put the focus on Christ's call to love, but opposed by Christians who could cite isolated bible verses to not bring change. This was true since the issue of slavery when the culture war became a shooting war of horrible proportions. Fortunately, our nation has resolved controversial issues since then using peaceful means.
When I was a boy in 1967 the issue of interracial marriage was more divisive than same-sex marriage is now. It was widely believed to be a sin as well as a crime to wed someone of African ancestry due to bibilical theology known as the curse of Ham theology. When interracial marriage bans were banished, there were terrible predictions made. The book "The Late Great Planet Earth" came out that same year and many were convinced that the end was very close. But life went on, and even though Sunday morning was the most segregated time in our nation for a long time, eventually most churches welcomed the people they had previously shunned.
Folks like to dismiss the parallels because they argue that race and sexual orientation are not the same. That belief has been hit hard by medical science and by the long-time leaders of the largest and oldest 2 evangelical ex-gay ministries; 2 years ago they admitted nobody changed from homosexual to heterosexual. And even the conservative gay conversion therapists admitted nobody chose to be homosexual. The idea that homosexuality was something that could be changed was recently ruled as fraud in federal court in New Jersey.
So what do Christians do when family members or church members say they are LGBT? John Smid, who led Love in Action, the only ex-gay minisitry with a year-long live-in program, said "When a person comes to Christ, many things change… sexual orientaiton is not one of those things. Sexual orientation is not something a person can repent of.." and he compared it to eye color, something that can be covered up, but not really changed.
The largest evangelical publishing house has recently published "God and the Gay Christian" which correctly points out that sexual orientation was completely unknown in the biblical era. Same-sex activities were seen in the culture as excesses of lust spilling over into what Paul called "unnatural" activities. Paul also called short hair on women "unatural" but we don't condemn Sue Boehler for it because we know Paul was simply referencing a cultural idea.
For older Christians, minds are less open to changing long-held beliefs but we can already see that no matter our views, our grandchildren's generation is coming to see the issue of LGBT people in a whole new way, one that is as radically different from just a couple of generations ago as most of us today are from our grandparents' generation on issues of race and interracial marriage.
Again, I am not stating that race and sexual orientation are exactly alike, but those who claim the latter is a choice are being contradicted by medical associations, most long-term ex-gay leaders and even the quickly shrinking growing numbers of those who call themselves ex-gay. If you read the testimonials in full from ex-gays, you will almost always see them explain they did not change from homosexual to heterosexual, they just rejected the word gay to describe themselves. Nearly all admit they are still same-sex attracted, SSA.
After 40 years of claiming gays could change to straight through Jesus, some folks are not humbled by their error in this area. They go on as if nothing happened. They just demand that all persons who are LGBT lead celibate lives. A few continue to encourage gays to wed straight spouses of the opposite sex. See the straight spouse network to catch a glimpse of the damage this does to entire families.
I don't expect most readers here to agree with my points, but I also don't see any solutions being offered here, just more calls for condemnation and repenting of a trait that is not chosen, a trait that cannot be changed by willpower or "praying the gay away.". A few say demon deliverance is the answer, but that has never worked. People who are gay are not demons nor demon-possessed. Many are active in their churches.
In my church we have 2 warm, wonderful women who've loved the Lord and one another for 60 years. They did a great job raising their kids and spoiling their grandkids. I know most of you can't bring yourself to see their love and their family are genuine, but your grandkids will.
You don't agree and that's fine, so at the very least, let's move on so we can work on our heterosexual families. While we were fighting gays, things changed in our own churches. Shocked researchers at Baylor Christian University in Texas discovered evangelicals have higher divorce rates than society at large does. Let's build family values among Christians and focus on the families we have ignored while fighting the gays. Remember, over 99% of marriages will continue to be heterosexual. And God is in control, so don't despair.
Sue Bohlin
A long response to a long comment
Thank you for writing, Jerome. It gives me an opportunity to clear up some misunderstandings.
Every civil rights advance has been supported and eventually won by Christians who put the focus on Christ's call to love, but opposed by Christians who could cite isolated bible verses to not bring change. This was true since the issue of slavery when the culture war became a shooting war of horrible proportions. Fortunately, our nation has resolved controversial issues since then using peaceful means.
When I was a boy in 1967 the issue of interracial marriage was more divisive than same-sex marriage is now. It was widely believed to be a sin as well as a crime to wed someone of African ancestry due to bibilical theology known as the curse of Ham theology. When interracial marriage bans were banished, there were terrible predictions made. The book "The Late Great Planet Earth" came out that same year and many were convinced that the end was very close. But life went on, and even though Sunday morning was the most segregated time in our nation for a long time, eventually most churches welcomed the people they had previously shunned.
Folks like to dismiss the parallels because they argue that race and sexual orientation are not the same.
They AREN’T the same. Race is immutable; feelings are not. (And sexual orientation is about feelings, which are quite changeable.) The church at Corinth included people who used to engage in same-sex sin, but as Paul wrote to them as well as those who used to engage in a number of vices, “And such were some of you” (1 Cor. 6:11). No, this passage does not address the issue of “orientation,” but of chosen behavior, which is where the Bible draws the line between being tempted (not a sin) and acting on the temptation (which is).
That belief has been hit hard by medical science and by the long-time leaders of the largest and oldest 2 evangelical ex-gay ministries; 2 years ago they admitted nobody changed from homosexual to heterosexual.
What medical science? Are you referring to the “Say it loud enough, long enough and people will believe it’s true” lie that medical science has proven that homosexuality is genetic? How about the twin studies that show that in identical twins, when one identifies as gay, the other identifies as straight 89% of the time? If it were in the DNA, this disparity would never happen.
I don’t know what TWO ex-gay ministries you are thinking of, but I’m pretty sure you’re at least thinking of Exodus International. As I answered this question in an earlier blog post:
Alan Chambers, speaking for Exodus, renounced reparative therapy, not conversion therapy. Reparative therapy means different things to different people, but the reality is that it is effective for some. I would argue that the majority of ministries affiliated with Exodus in the past and present do not focus on reparative therapy; we focus on discipleship. We point people to Jesus and work to help them develop intimacy with their heavenly Father and with the Lord Jesus Christ. That relationship changes people’s hearts; an essential truth of Christianity is that the power of the gospel results in changed lives.
Alan’s comment about the 99.9% has been sadly twisted. This is what he said: “The majority of people that I have met, and I would say the majority meaning 99.9% of them have not experienced a change in their orientation or have gotten to a place where they could say that they could never be tempted or are not tempted in some way or experience some level of same-sex attraction.”
Let’s look at his statement:
“The majority of people that I have met, and I would say the majority meaning 99.9% of them” – Unfortunately, this was not the result of a statistical analysis, but I’m pretty sure it’s a number he made up on the spot. It’s unfortunate that Alan has spoken to so few people who have experienced real and lasting change, since we see a lot more than that in the ministry I work with (Living Hope Ministries).
“have not experienced a change in their orientation” – OK, so there are a lot of people who just cannot make a switch in their heads and hearts to be attracted to the opposite sex. Some wounds are very, very deep. Some are not willing to do the hard work of submission to the process of discipleship that results in true and lasting transformation.
“or have gotten to a place where they could say that they could never be tempted or are not tempted in some way” – This is huge. I don’t know ANYONE who can say they are not or could not be tempted, particularly in an area that has been a problem or weakness in the past. Temptations are not up to us. We have an enemy of our souls who doesn’t play fair, who tempts us in many ways. Since when do we define change as “never ever ever being tempted again”?
“or experience some level of same-sex attraction.” – He’s saying that most people with a history of same-sex attraction still experience some level of it. That makes sense, just like someone who grows up in one country and then moves to a new country and learns a new language as an adult retains his or her accent. But having some degree of same-sex attraction doesn’t mean one’s life is dominated by it. I personally know many people who acknowledge it as a weakness, entrust it to Christ, and go on about their lives—and a number of them, Alan Chambers included, enjoy healthy marriages. That’s where they place their energies and their focus.
My argument in favor of “ex-gays” is based first on scripture, and second on personal experience (I’ve been watching lives change for over a decade, and I still am today).
I addressed the question of Exodus closing its doors in my blog post "Exodus Is Shutting Down, But Jesus Isn't."
And even the conservative gay conversion therapists admitted nobody chose to be homosexual. The idea that homosexuality was something that could be changed was recently ruled as fraud in federal court in New Jersey.
I would agree that we don’t choose our “besetting sin.” But for every person who discovers same-sex attraction, it is still a personal choices whether or not to act on it.
And I’m sorry, but federal court rulings are no reflection of reality. Legal maneuverings are a high stakes game; they are not about what is true.
So what do Christians do when family members or church members say they are LGBT? John Smid, who led Love in Action, the only ex-gay minisitry with a year-long live-in program,
I’m sorry, but you don’t know that LIA was the only ministry with a live-in program. Just because you’re not aware of others doesn’t mean there isn’t one. At least one other is running their program “under the radar.” And for a number of people over a number of years, they have seen success. People are choosing to steward their sexuality in ways that honors Christ and other people; sometimes that means the bandwidth on their attractions is extended to include the opposite sex.
said "When a person comes to Christ, many things change… sexual orientaiton is not one of those things. Sexual orientation is not something a person can repent of.." and he compared it to eye color, something that can be covered up, but not really changed.
So incredibly sad. Jesus is powerful enough to raise the dead, to come back from death Himself, to allow the spiritually deaf to hear Him calling us and to enable spiritually dead people to choose life, but He’s not strong enough or big enough to change people’s feelings??! That’s what John, and other Christians who have decided that since they still have same-sex attraction, that they will always have it, are saying.
It’s especially sad when husband and fathers, who have functioned in marriages with their wives, abandon their families because they won’t say no to their flesh.
I blogged on this here: http://blogs.bible.org/engage/sue_bohlin/when_ex-gays_return_to_a_gay_identity
The largest evangelical publishing house has recently published "God and the Gay Christian" which correctly points out that sexual orientation was completely unknown in the biblical era.
That's a specious argument. For millennia, people have had sex with the same gender because they wanted to. Creating a new label of “orientation” doesn’t change anything. I would suggest that creating the new label of “swinger” because “adulterer” is so negative and judgmental, doesn’t change the sin. All sex outside of marriage (between a man and a woman for life) is sin, and that includes someone exclusively attracted to the same sex or a one-time dalliance with a same-sex partner.
Same-sex activities were seen in the culture as excesses of lust spilling over into what Paul called "unnatural" activities. Paul also called short hair on women "unatural" but we don't condemn Sue Boehler for it because we know Paul was simply referencing a cultural idea.
I would suggest that same-sex activities today are still excesses of lust, since it means going outside God’s intention and provision for human beings. Honestly, the unnaturalness of homosexuality is self-evident; whether from a design perspective or an evolutionary perspective, the parts don’t fit and there is no possibility of reproduction.
And Paul never called short hair on women unnatural. He did say that long hair is a glory to a woman, but how long is long? Length is a relative term. (Otherwise, how long is a piece of string?) My hair may not be waist-length, but no one will ever mistake me for a man. The length and style of my hair is unmistakably female. And that, I suggest, is God’s intention.
For older Christians, minds are less open to changing long-held beliefs but we can already see that no matter our views, our grandchildren's generation is coming to see the issue of LGBT people in a whole new way, one that is as radically different from just a couple of generations ago as most of us today are from our grandparents' generation on issues of race and interracial marriage.
Yes, younger Christians are being hoodwinked. Especially if they have friends who identify as LGBT. The relationship seems to trump what the word of God says. It breaks my heart.
Again, I am not stating that race and sexual orientation are exactly alike, but those who claim the latter is a choice are being contradicted by medical associations, most long-term ex-gay leaders and even the quickly shrinking growing numbers of those who call themselves ex-gay. If you read the testimonials in full from ex-gays, you will almost always see them explain they did not change from homosexual to heterosexual, they just rejected the word gay to describe themselves. Nearly all admit they are still same-sex attracted, SSA.
Same-sex attraction may be a lasting thorn in the flesh. That doesn’t change anything about God’s standards for His people. He never promised a 180-degree shift in attractions, and any ministries or programs who would do so were mistaken. But to move from unholy sexual and relational sin to a holy life that honors God by stewarding one’s sexuality in chastity—that is what the change of sanctification looks like.
After 40 years of claiming gays could change to straight through Jesus, some folks are not humbled by their error in this area. They go on as if nothing happened. They just demand that all persons who are LGBT lead celibate lives.
I won’t speak for anyone who made such a claim; I have never been affiliated with a group who did that. But I will say that celibate lives are God’s call for all single people regardless of attraction.
A few continue to encourage gays to wed straight spouses of the opposite sex. See the straight spouse network to catch a glimpse of the damage this does to entire families.
I know that some people do so out of a deep misunderstanding. They probably wouldn’t counsel a person who struggles with alcohol to overcome it by getting a job as a bartender.
The question is, though, is a gay-identifying person attracted enough to their spouse to function sexually and emotionally in marriage? Even if it’s not the daily “fireworks” of fantasy novels and movies? If they are, and they remain faithful to that spouse despite their flesh desiring what God has said is wrong, then God is honored and they will be rewarded. Is this really any different from the man who is attracted to other women after he marries, but chooses not to take that second look, or to get a phone number, or to act on his flesh in any way? His flesh also desires what God has said is wrong. God calls all spouses to fidelity even when it’s hard. We need to call each other up to take, and maintain, an eternal perspective rather than focus on the seen and temporal, the “feelings-driven life” (to coin a phrase).
I don't expect most readers here to agree with my points, but I also don't see any solutions being offered here, just more calls for condemnation and repenting of a trait that is not chosen, a trait that cannot be changed by willpower or "praying the gay away.". A few say demon deliverance is the answer, but that has never worked. People who are gay are not demons nor demon-possessed. Many are active in their churches.
It’s a thorn in the flesh. And sometimes God says no, you need to live with the tension. It’s not easy, but it isthe way of discipleship.
In my church we have 2 warm, wonderful women who've loved the Lord and one another for 60 years. They did a great job raising their kids and spoiling their grandkids. I know most of you can't bring yourself to see their love and their family are genuine, but your grandkids will.
I love Joe Dallas’ response to Matthew Vines:
“My concern is that his argument suggests that love justifies a relationship. He suggests that many of us are against gay coupling because we think no real love can exist between gays. But I’ve never heard anyone argue that point. In fact, I’ve no doubt many same sex couples love each other deeply, and take their commitment seriously.
“I’d likewise argue that Spencer Tracy and Katherine Hepburn, two of the best known performers of all time who had a longstanding and widely celebrated romance despite the fact Tracy was married to another woman, seem to have loved each other immeasurably. Their relationship was adulterous, loving, immoral, and full of deep commitment. The inherent wrongness of the union didn’t nullify the love involved, nor could the love involved nullify the inherent wrongness of adultery. Love and sin can, and often do, co-exist, the one not cancelling out the other. And, most importantly, the one not being able to justify the other.
“Which is exactly why Paul condemned homosexual behavior without context or contingency. He declared it unnatural and immoral in and of itself, whether practiced in the context of idol worship, Roman orgies, pederasty, or a loving adult union.”
You don't agree and that's fine, so at the very least, let's move on so we can work on our heterosexual families. While we were fighting gays, things changed in our own churches. Shocked researchers at Baylor Christian University in Texas discovered evangelicals have higher divorce rates than society at large does. Let's build family values among Christians and focus on the families we have ignored while fighting the gays. Remember, over 99% of marriages will continue to be heterosexual. And God is in control, so don't despair.
You’re right. God is in control. And He is very, very good.
Thank you for writing, Jerome.
i.hope
Question for Jerome
Hi Jerome
Would you clarifiy for me if you believe that ones sexuality is a civil rights issue?
From reading your comment you seem to indicate that it is and that civil rights should rule over God's word, is that true?
marco
“many are active in their church”
Judas was very active with Jesus ministry,but look how he ended.Galatians 6.
Sue Bohlin
True, Marco.
There are going to be wheat and tares in every church. The thing is, the wheat will be disciplined (Heb. 12:6) and the tares will be destroyed. It's very sobering.