Space Confusion – Soul Disruption

It seems pretty silly, mundane and almost embarrassing, that 4 months of house chaos would create such internal chaos when considering it in light of the bigger scheme of life. No one died. No one has cancer. My husband has not lost his job.

It seems pretty silly, mundane and almost embarrassing, that 4 months of house chaos would create such internal chaos when considering it in light of the bigger scheme of life. No one died. No one has cancer. My husband has not lost his job.

Our house did not burn down nor was it whirled away in a tornado. We have just had foundation issues and a major leak in our kitchen. That’s all.

But in reality that is not all. The subsequent sequence of events and hassles make us feel like we are in some kind of epic saga that when thinking it is over another surprise pops up. Our furniture is crammed into two rooms in order for the workers to access the needy spaces. The floors involved have been ripped up and we have been trying to function in the midst of confusion. I will spare you the details of this unwelcomed assignment that has been going on for 4 months.

Life does not stop no matter what kind of chaos you are living in.

This series of hassles have provided a kind of odd laboratory of instruction from the Lord. He has our attention in a very visual, daily way. What can we learn from this “assignment”? What kind of principles surface? What does Lord want us to hear? How are we supposed to react? At first, I simply did not think I could function. My feelings were closely kin to those during childbirth labor of our first child – no way out except to cooperate and deliver! We were drawn into the vortex of house disruption with no way out except to finish the process AND cooperate with it.

For starters I am learning these things:
That  – external reality is not necessarily the reflection of true reality. There is also an invisible reality.  It is the reality of God’s presence in the midst of these difficulties. God is the same in confusion. Darkness and light are the same to Him (Psalm 139:12). It may be disrupting and chaotic to me, but not to Him. He remains constant. He is still stable, ordered and predictable. He invites me to live into His Presence in the midst of this.

That – external living space disorder eventually impacts the state of my soul. I did not realize how much. My need and dependence on order has been exposed. I have to give myself grace to be patient. My living rhythms are all out of sync. It is harder in the space confusion to feel anchored internally. It is more imperative than ever that I have intentional communion with God to satisfy my need for stability in chaos. He welcomes me back into His Presence and sometimes I enter with just a tired, whimper of please help me.

That -this is a chance to replace my roller coaster annoyances with the love of Christ. The time frame of various workers moving in and out of our home is an opportunity to reflect the love of Christ to them. In spite of the language barrier I can still smile, be kind, offer water and show my appreciation. Could my context be right out of Hebrews 13:2 and the “entertaining of angels without knowing it? Has He allowed these men in my living space to see Him? How am I doing?
Maybe you are experiencing external chaos that has morphed into huge soul disruption for you. I invite you to join me to see this as an opportunity to seek God’s stability and anchoring. He knows exactly what you need and is just waiting for you to come.

Gail Seidel served as Mentor Advisor for Spiritual Formation in the Department of Spiritual Formation and Leadership at Dallas Theological Seminary (DTS) and as an Adjunct Professor in the D Min in Spiritual Formation in the D Min Department at Dallas Theological Seminary. She has a BA in English from the University of Texas, a Masters in Christian Education from Dallas Seminary and a D Min in Spiritual Formation from Gordon-Conwell Theological Seminary. She is a contributor to the textbook, Foundations of Spiritual Formation, Kregel Academic. She served as co-director for Christian Women in Partnership Russia with Entrust, an international church leadership-training mission. She and her husband Andy live in Fredericksburg, Texas. They have 2 married children and 6 wonderful grandchildren--Kami, Kourtney, Katie, Mallory, Grayson, and Avery.


  • Olga Alard

    thanks, Gail!

    Thank you, Gail! Just read this quote, I think you'll enjoy it : "There is an ocean of God's love available – there is plenty for everyone. May God grant you never to doubt that victorious love – whatever the circumstances." Corrie Ten Boom

    • Gail Seidel

      Great Quote Olga!

      I love this idea Olga of "oceans of love"… well said. Thank you. Others have walked this kind of chaotic path before and that is a comfort for sure.

  • Joan Wright

    Wow! Gail, I just read this


    Gail, I just read this and it could not have been more relevant to my life right now.  No, I don't have workmen in my house perfoming major repairs.  Quite the opposite:  my house seems deathly quiet with the recent absence of both my husband (already at his new job in San Antonio) and my daughter (brand new freshman 3,000 miles away).  I'm here packing up what I can while still trying to keep the place presentable for the few showings we have.  Lauren's cat, not understanding her absence, cries for her.  Sometimes I'll break down and cry along with her!

    So, although I don't have external chaos, I have been churning with the emotional effects of two major life changes at the same time.  Your post was such a timely reminder that I should seek God in the quiet and let His Spirit minister to my soul. God is still God, no matter where (or how) we live.

    I will pray for a speedy end to your construction and that somehow your ministering to the workers will reap visible results.



  • Gail Seidel

    Well said, Joan!

    Thank you for your prayers and your heart in the midst of the HUGE life changes. May the Lord's Presence sustain and enliven you as you wait to join your husband!