Every holiday, I have this idea in my head of how everything should look and be. Do you ever do that? The problem is, as a single and divorced mom of grown children, the holidays will always be hard and probably never look like what’s in my head.   However, it does not mean special days cannot be good. But, let’s be honest for a moment, they are hard. No matter what the reason is for divorce, it shatters the family. It causes fragmentation. Children are left running between mom and dad. Even when parents behave badly, children still want to see both of them. They rarely stop wanting…