Betrayed!
Most of us have experienced the wrenching pain of betrayal. Psalm 41:9 echoes this from the life of David, “Even my close friend, whom I trusted, he who shared meals with me, has turned against me.” How do we deal with this kind of disappointment, this painful experience, this broken trust in a way that doesn’t damage God’s kingdom nor our relationship with Him.
Most of us have experienced the wrenching pain of betrayal. Psalm 41:9 echoes this from the life of David, “Even my close friend, whom I trusted, he who shared meals with me, has turned against me.” How do we deal with this kind of disappointment, this painful experience, this broken trust in a way that doesn’t damage God’s kingdom nor our relationship with Him.
One tempting way is to share my hurt with others and broaden the exposure and extent of the betrayal. We garner support for our perspective and attempt to justify even our anger and attitude. How many personal conflicts have escalated to community-wide conflicts and left longtime scars as a result. Let’s consider David. Though anointed by God as the future king, he spent years fleeing for his life from King Saul. He provides an example of how to deal with the pain of betrayal.
His model of pouring out his honest heart to God is one we can safely follow. His confidence for vindication lies in his confidence in God. “By this I know that you are pleased with me,for my enemy does not triumph over me. As for me, you uphold me because of my integrity; you allow me permanent access to your presence.” Psalms 41:11-12. The lament Psalms put words around a broken heart and draw us to confidence in God’s vindication rather than taking it ourselves. We don’t deny the pain, but seek comfort from our confidence in Him.
Peter also instructs us from the life of jesus in I Peter 2:19-25. In His greatest suffering Jesus entrusted Himself to the Father who judges righteously.
Having acknowledged the hurt and cried out to God we are able to be silent and trust Him for vindication Also, we are prepared to deal with what is likely necessary, forgiveness. Forgiveness doesn’t make the offender right, but it sets me free. The deeper the hurt, the more frequent the need for forgiveness.
Jesus understands the sorrow of betrayal and He comforts us in ours. As we enter the Lenten season, let’s remember that part of His suffering was the failure of His friends.
Gwynne Johnson
Gwynne Johnson currently serves on the Board of Entrust, Inc., an international education and training mission where she authored the Entrust curriculum, Developing a Discerning Heart. She recently served as Co-Chair of the training project, Christian Women in Partnership, Russia and as Senior Director of Women's Ministry at Stonebriar Community Church in Frisco, Texas. Gwynne has a M.A. in Biblical Studies from Dallas Theological Seminary. She currently lives in Huntsville, Texas with her husband of 58 years, Don. She works part-time in her daughter and granddaughter's bakery "The Best Box Ever," where she gets paid in cookies.
2 Comments
Allen Schroeder
I really struggle to trust
I really struggle to trust God, I had a fiance that I thought was from the Lord, she was like the queen of the church, loved others, and passionate about the Lord. We feel in love and became engaged but over a period of a year in a half, the leaders told us to hold off on marriage. She disagreed and I did too at first, but then I decided to follow the leadership. We prayed about it and then decided to leave the church. We started going to a new church that we really like and the people were very genuine…but my fiance went downhill, started drinking alcohol, and eventually ended up in a physical relationship with an unbeliever at her work. I was absolutely devastated. It has taken me years to get over this and today, I'm still not completely sound. I had so many prophetic words regarding our marriage from other churches. She was the only woman I ever fell in love with. I know now i do not want to be with someone who is a cheater, but the most damaging thing of all is how can I trust God in the midst of something so painful, that continually haunts me years later, while she remains happy, blessed and married to the unbeleving man that she cheated on me with? I was 110% sure she was suppose to be my wife, I experienced so many beautiful things together with her. But yet, she was nastily ripped from me like a cruel joke. I don't know who to be more angry with, God, her, myself, or the enemy.
Gwynne Johnson
So sad.
How very painful for you and confusing. Jesus understands betrayal and I trust that you will find comfort from Him.