Impact

Character and money?

Does the name Bernie Madoff ring a bell? If not, do a search for his name and you will find 1.39 million results on Google. Character counts in every aspect of our lives but how do we communicate this concept to our children? Raise your hand if you thought I meant with words? Our actions communicate most of what we teach our children.


Does the name Bernie Madoff ring a bell? If not, do a search for his name and you will find 1.39 million results on Google. Character counts in every aspect of our lives but how do we communicate this concept to our children? Raise your hand if you thought I meant with words? Our actions communicate most of what we teach our children.

In my book, Dad Cents, I begin with teaching children biblical character traits that are necessary for success in God’s eyes. Some of the traits I discuss are faithfulness, trustworthiness, accountability, discipline and generosity. As I mentioned, teaching these traits to our children is our responsibility and can be relatively easy. Easy, that is, if we model these characteristics ourselves.

Not too long ago, I was disappointed with one of my daughters because of her actions. We discussed her transgression, I disciplined her, and we moved on with the day. Later in the day, as God usually does, he thumped me in the head, as I realized that my daughter was acting just like her daddy had the day before! I was convicted, to say the least.

For those who read this post and do not have kids, I would still challenge you. If you have any type of leadership position, your actions influence others. There is a possibility you may have an even greater challenge modeling character. Those whom you influence may only see your actions and not have the same opportunity to hear your words!

So how do we model character traits to our children? When you say you are going to give them an allowance every month, be faithful and do it on the same day of the month. You must be disciplined and follow through with providing the allowance. Your faithfulness then turns into a trustworthiness in your children’s eyes. And as you know, your children will keep you accountable for giving them the allowance. Generosity is very important as well. Since giving should be a part of their allowance allocation, you can model generosity by your children watching you put money in the offering plate, or as you write the check.

St. Francis of Assisi said, ” Preach the Gospel at all times and when necessary use words.” When we think of our children and our actions, I want to suggest we change the quote a bit to consider this wording. “Teach truth at all times and use words when necessary!”

3 Comments

  • thom.garrett

    words

    Shane,  thanks for your blog post.  I agree that our actions influence others whether we are aware of it or not.  As we interact with people in our daily lives, we may not know who we are infulencing. with our actions.  We should be teaching the truth and our lives should be an example of God's truth and principles.  However, in our homes and with our families, I firmly believe that words and actions go hand-in-hand and can not be separated.   I guess my viewpoint is, that words are a necessity in the home, most of the time.  A necessity to give guidance, encouragement, correction, etc. 

    "Cease listenting to instruction, my son, and you will stray from the words of knowledge."  – Prov. 19:27

    "My tongue shall speak of Your word,  For all Your commandments are righteousness." – Psa. 119:172

    The implication here is that we are  actively speaking, verbally, to our children.  Certainly our actions should back up our words and our words should back up our actions.   A version of the quote to be considered:

    "Teach truth at all times using words and actions".

    Thanks again for your topic.

    • Shane Barkley

      Words

      Tom, thank you for your reply. 

      I agree with you that words are necessary but unfortunately many parents only teach with words and do not follow up with actions that model those words.  In no way did I want to exclude words but to put the focus on "doing what we say" instead of telling our kids, "do as I say not as I do."

  • Pat Gloria

    Do as i do… Amen

    Shane,

     Your message is very "today oriented" in parent child relationships. I agree wholeheartedly that our actions sometimes, well actually, most of the time are a true compass to what we really believe in our heart of hearts. The " do as I say " without the " this is what I do " really doesn't mean much to our children and others we may knowingly or especially unknowingly have influence over. So many times our children watch and will ruthlessly replay those actions to us when defending themselves in a time of discipline. They gauge the importance of what advice or guidance they may hear from us by how we live in front of them when the curtains on our public lives are down ind its" just us and the boys talking " I like your spin on St Frank's saying! If followed it will save especially those who are parents of small children many a mia culpa as those children turn into teenagers and young adults!  

    Thanks for your well worded message!

    Pat Gloria