Ortberg’s Three Tests
In previous blogs I’ve proposed the idea that segregating ourselves from our brothers in ministry shuts down authentic biblical community. We discussed the reality of sexual temptation and methods to help us conquer inappropriate sexual temptation. Today I propose that we all need wise fences as we interact with our brothers in Christ.
In previous blogs I’ve proposed the idea that segregating ourselves from our brothers in ministry shuts down authentic biblical community. We discussed the reality of sexual temptation and methods to help us conquer inappropriate sexual temptation. Today I propose that we all need wise fences as we interact with our brothers in Christ.
In the course of writing our book Mixed Ministry, Kelley and I interviewed many Christian leaders on the topic and found author and pastor John Ortberg’s thoughts helpful and provocation. Here are his three tests for leaders as we interact with the opposite sex. He writes them from a male perspective but they apply to women too.
John Ortberg’s Three Tests
First, the Sibling Test—he asks, “Do I trust this woman as I would my sister?” Ortberg knows that you can’t trust every woman. There are some needy, emotionally immature women who need Jesus, and men need to be discerning enough to entrust their care to seasoned female staff members.
Second, the Screen Test—he asks, “Would I be embarrassed if any of our conversations or actions were on a movie screen?”
Third, the Secret Test—“Am I keeping anything secret from my wife?” As women, we need to ask ourselves, Do I trust this man as I would my brother? Am I keeping any secrets from my husband? As you work with the opposite sex, how do you fare with the tests?
Consider these questions. Do you think it is wise or legalistic to construct protective fences? Should we create a list of rules for everyone? How can we guard our hearts (Prov. 4:23) while continuing to create mixed-gender community?
Sue Edwards
Dr. Edwards is Assistant Professor of Christian Education (Specialization: Women's Studies) at Dallas Theological Seminary and holds degrees from Trinity University, DTS, and Gordon-Conwell Theological Seminary. She is the author of New Doors in Ministry to Women, A Fresh Model for Transforming Your Church, Campus, or Mission Field and Women's Retreats, A Creative Planning Guide. She has 30 years experience in Bible teaching, directing women's ministry, retreat and conference speaking, training teams and teachers, and writing curriculum. Married to David for 34 years, she especially enjoys extended family gatherings and romping with her four grandchildren.
One Comment
CC
Sue, I’ve enjoyed reading
Sue, I’ve enjoyed reading your series. I have worked in many churches and ministries over the years, usually in an administrative role, and believe that the advice and observations in this entire series are spot on.
In answer to your question, I absolutely believe that it’s not only prudent but necessary for each of us to consider and set boundaries for ourselves in advance, and determine ourselves never to cross them. This process should be part of all ministry training, but probably premarital counseling as well. Agree on on your own rules. Relative to the church, I believe that setting sensible standards for the protection of the ministry workers is a good practice as well. Among other things, it helps to avoid hurt feelings which are bound to happen when a minister is forced to pass someone on to a same gender minister, while he continues to counsel others. It also protects the church. But it should be understood that these aren’t law and that beyond that boundary isn’t death (sin) but rather danger.
A paraphrased quote, the author of which isn’t coming to mind this moment: We’re instructed to endure hardship and flee temptation NOT endure temptation and flee hardship.