The Dating Game: How I Learned All I Needed to Know in Preaching Class (and no, it wasn’t because I was the only girl in class)

Exegetical. Theological. Homiletical. Dating.

What do these words have in common? Well, pretty much nothing, at least you’d think so—if you’ve even heard of all four words.

The first three words (in that order) form a tool I learned in preaching class to take a passage of the Bible and make it into a spot-on sermon. The last word, well, they didn’t talk about that much in seminary, even though we did.

Exegetical. Theological. Homiletical. Dating.

What do these words have in common? Well, pretty much nothing, at least you’d think so—if you’ve even heard of all four words.

The first three words (in that order) form a tool I learned in preaching class to take a passage of the Bible and make it into a spot-on sermon. The last word, well, they didn’t talk about that much in seminary, even though we did.

Exegesis means looking critically at the Biblical text for historical, grammatical, contextual, and literary interpretations. It is the “what did it mean then?” question.

Theology means looking at what it tells us about God and how He interacts with His people. It’s the “what is the timeless truth?” question.

Homiletics means simply the art of preaching. It’s the “how does it apply to us today?” question.

And I’m sure at this point you have the same question when it comes to all this and dating.

Well, let me explain. If you take a passage of scripture and skip any of these steps, you can end up with some pretty wonky interpretations and therefore applications. We’re so ready to make things relevant that we most often read the text and jump to apply—skipping a deeper exegetical look and missing the theology altogether.

For example, let’s look at a passage that most of us ignore, but that if you really want to apply, you can end up in a weird place:

“You must not boil a young goat in its mother’s milk.”  Deut 14:21

Exegesis: It’s a pretty plain restriction for cooking.

Theology: skip it and let’s move on to apply.

Homiletics: Don’t eat a cheeseburger because you can’t eat meat together with milk (this application is a real conclusion some have made).

OR

Exegesis: It’s pretty plain restrictions, but dipping further into history, there are some excavations that have uncovered writings that show a pagan ritual in which sacrificial goats were to be boiled in milk.

Theology: God is the one true God and the only one to be worshiped.

Homiletics: Do not worship other Gods (and go ahead with the Big Mac).

So, the lesson learned is don’t skip the work before applying. It makes sense not to, but we often rush to apply before we’ve worked through the truths that we’re looking at.

In Parts 1 and 2 of this dating series, we’ve looked out how we apply everyone’s personal story to our own. Our reasoning is good. We want to follow Godly examples (although deep down let’s admit we just want to find “the one.”).

The problem is that we are skipping an integral step before we apply the story. We’ve heard the story, and we see what it meant back then: Joe and Christy got hitched by not dating. So, we apply it to us today: I will get married by not dating.

We hit exegesis (and yes, we actually look pretty closely at these stories as singles although it might behoove us to do a little more critical thinking about context). Then we skip theology and move straight to application.

What’s the difference? Well let’s look at it this way:

Exegesis: Joe and Christy got hitched by not dating.

Theology: skip it and let’s move on to the exciting thoughts!

Homiletics: I will get married by not dating.

OR

Exegesis: Joe and Christy got hitched by not dating.

Theology: God is faithful, knows best, and listens to the prayers of His people.

Homiletics: God will be faithful to me, steer me in the best direction, and hear my prayers.

It may not be the answer we want because we’re looking for a formula for marriage, but it’s actually true and we may avoid a lot of heartbreak by hearing the truth. And if you think that truth isn’t really that great, take a deep breath and read it again.

So, what now? We’ve got an awesome (but rather broad) statement about God, but how do we apply that to dating? We know we can’t just apply someone else’s story willy-nilly, but shouldn’t we be looking for Godly examples to follow? Or, are we just left to go along without any direction now?

Tune in next time for the exciting conclusion where I bring it all home (but I can’t promise you’ll bring a husband home when you’re done reading it).