The Tapeworm Gallery: Something New Under the Sun

            December 31 has arrived, though not soon enough. You've counted down the days for Crabatha's departure. I succeeded in keeping you perpetually irritated with her (and Mark) these past nine weeks. I know you will miss her lemon face and nails-on-chalkboard nagging. But no worries. I have someone else in the cue to prick your sensitivities. So keep forgetting Jesus, and keep focusing on your rights. 

            Speaking of rights, I saw your list—your 2016 Happiness Umbrella of Needs, Goals, Entitlements, and Resolutions. Adorable. I see you want to stop living in the past. Great idea. I prefer you keep your eyes on the will-never-happens of tomorrow. The more you dream, the more hopes I can dash. And when I dampen your hope, I drown your faith. Please allow me to offer some creative additions to your 2016 HUNGER List:

·  Exercise only in the name of vanity. Your body belongs to you. Mark may not notice you now, but he will when you get six-pack abs.       

·  Make the house more important than Mark and the kids. It does not matter if they get late for work or school—do not allow them to leave the house with unmade beds and untidy rooms. Visitors need to believe no one lives in your home.

·  Disregard Mark's caveman grunts. Fill your inner void with more idols. Volunteer for the Hospitality Team at church. Throw in that Michael Kors purse and Jimmy Choo perfume that beckon from your iPad. You will have to look the part. Besides, the more comfort and approval you find, the better.

·  Pick up a few extra shifts at work each month, and by the end of the year you and Mark will have enough for the down payment on that stucco house you've been eyeing—the one with the black-bottom pool. 

            Al Pacino said it best: "Vanity—definitely my favorite sin." Can't wait to gloat over your misery. So go ahead. Make yourself happy. You deserve it. My bet? You hit a brick wall around April.   

Wishing you a Happy and Insecure New Year


Warning: The faint-hearted should proceed with caution. The Tapeworm Gallery has as its main character, Tapeworm, a demon out to undermine Christian women. Inspired by Screwtape Letters by C.S. Lewis, this fiction satire series exposes the author's interpretation of what a demon might say to a Christian audience. With data collected from current events, the news, articles, theological study, and face-to-face interviews to uncover context and paradigm, the author feels the blog practically writes itself. Enjoy and please comment.

Blessings, Salma

American-born Salma Gundi graduated from Dallas Theological Seminary in 2017 with a Masters in Biblical and Theological Studies. Salma has a passion for leading women, and has led women's Bible studies, and multiple small groups for women who grew up in dysfunctional homes. Salma enjoys speaking at women's events, and is known by the catchphrase, "Stop faking the funk—start keeping it real." She hopes to continue ministering to women through writing, speaking, and teaching. Salma, who grew up in California miles from the Pacific Beaches, came to saving faith in 1991 after a Campus Crusade for Christ Creation vs Evolution debate. The (unofficial) black sheep of her family, she graduated summa cum laude with a degree in Feather Ruffling. Her consanguineous relatives consume a strict vegetarian diet, and were it not for lobster with lemon butter sauce, she would do the same. Salma's husband is a psychotherapist, and also at graduate of DTS.