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Supporting My Spouse by Focusing on Me
“I’m feeling very anxious,” my husband told me. As a young bride this revelation shook me. I didn’t know what to do. I wanted to take it away, to make it better so I wouldn’t have to watch him suffer. Since I didn’t experience anxiety in the same way, I could not understand what he described. I’m a student and teacher of the Bible. Studying a verse, explaining the principle, identifying the lies, and believing the truths help me. As such, I’m tempted to quote verses to him, to give information as a way to help. But over the course of our thirty-four year marriage, I learned that my methods…
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What Does Genesis 6 Have to Do with Male/Female Relationships?
What Does Genesis 6 Have to Do with Healthy Male/Female Friendships? Recently, I had a fascinating email interaction initiated by my friend Henry Rouse, a theologian in Australia, about the narrative in Genesis leading up to the Flood. The text in view seems to reveal something important about man and woman in God’s story. The text we discussed was not Genesis 1 (origin of humanity) nor Genesis 2 (the man’s nap, the woman’s creation) nor Genesis 3 (the Fall)—the usual pericopes from the book of Beginnings mentioned in conversations about men and women. Rather, we were talking about Genesis 6. I’ve combined our conversation into what follows, which includes work…
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Some Lessons from a Forty-Year-Old Marriage
This spring my husband and I celebrated our 40th wedding anniversary. We are grateful to God for bringing us together and for His grace in our marriage. To celebrate, we wanted to find some trails in Colorado to hike. However, after looking for several weeks, we were unable to find any trails that would work. Unbeknownst to us, God had something else planned. A missionary agency contacted my husband to inform him Albania had requested some medical training in his specialty. The planning trip would need to take place during the time we had set aside to celebrate our 40th wedding anniversary. We felt God would have us postpone (or…
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A Wedding Prayer
Someone once told me that a big draw for people coming to the bible.org web site, which hosts this blog, is wedding resources. They come looking for wording. Whether seeking entire ceremonies or simply prayers and vows, they look to a site with the word “Bible” in it for help. So, today I’m sharing a prayer I crafted for one of my favorite couples, Lacie and Eric, at their beautiful wedding in the Air Force Academy Chapel near Colorado Springs. Some of the words I wrote myself, but I also borrowed phrases from songs like “Wonderful, Merciful Savior” and The Book of Common Prayer. Do you have a favorite wedding…
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Why Does Genesis Command a Man (Not a Woman) to Leave His Parents?
Recently, one of my students asked me an important question: “Is there any significance to God telling the man he “shall leave his father and mother and hold fast to his wife” (Gen. 2:24)? Why is the wife not to leave her family? Great question. Let’s begin with how the ESV translators render the verse in question: “Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and they shall become one flesh.” Contrast that with how the NET translators render the verse, especially noting the parts in italics, which I added to both texts: “That is why a man leaves his father and…
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Autonomy Gone Amuck
autonomy (ô-tŏn’ə-mē) n., 1. Quality or state of being self-governed 2. Self-directing freedom and especially moral independence The first definition seems to be in line with biblical principles (self-controlled and responsible). However, the second definition seems to be how our culture defines autonomy. The culture’s definition echoes the repeated phrase in Judges, “everyone did what was right in his own eyes” (Jud 21:25). The book of Judges displays the chaotic and evil outcome of everyone doing right in their own eyes…autonomy gone amuck! Several contemporary thinkers aid in discerning the issues involving autonomy. Philip Rieff(1922-2006) wrote of the triumph of the therapeutic self which is defined as when “the…
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Sex + Addiction = The Devil’s Playground
Often times Christians shy away from anything involving the term “sex.” Add to the mix “addiction,” and you can clear a room in five seconds. But I encourage you to pull up a chair and stick around. Because today we have a submission by my guest blogger and psychotherapist husband on this taboo topic. Read on… “Sex addict.” The phrase can make us uncomfortable. Especially when used to describe ourselves or someone we love. I believe our discomfort comes from the way society stereotypes addiction. Of all addictions, sexual addiction seems to bring the most shame and embarrassment to the sufferer and loved ones. For this reason, many sufferers want…
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Shades of White—Part 2
A couple walks through the snowdrifts, clasping the others’ hand, as they slowly make their way through the deep, wet wonderland. With each step they give each other balance, courage, and strength. As they look over their shoulder, they see two pair of footprints, gently mingling with the mud beneath. Bright white snow turned ivory with wear. Ten years ago I posted this just nine days before my wedding day. And I couldn’t help but revisit it. Today Turtullian’s timeless words, penned in the 200s, still hang in our home. Their endurance reminds us what it takes to make a marriage beautiful. How beautiful, then, the marriage of two…
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Running to my Husband
I have a fantastic husband. Not just Instagram fantastic, but like for real fantastic. Today, he put together two utility shelves for our mudroom and took the kids out of the house so I could get work done! Yet no matter how “real life” fantastic he is, all spouses fall short. Even my husband. We have the tendency to find the worst time, to say the gravest things, that send us over the edge. I can’t even pinpoint what our fight was about that fateful day but I do remember the sinking feeling in my stomach as tears welling up in my eyes. I retreated to my room to lick…
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How I Almost Ruined My Marriage
It was 1:00 am. With blood shot eyes I sat wringing my hands on our faux leather couch. The seams are busted on the edges so the puff is spilling out. I’ve contemplated putting tape over these eruptions but really…who wants to be THAT person. I sat contemplating whether or not I should mend the seams in the couch or just own the mess and cover it, maybe a pillow will do or that really cool washi tape that’s all the rage. That fateful night our couch became the backdrop for one of the realest fights we’ve had to date. Past arguments about leaving the milk out, or even what…
