A Terrible Mistake?
My heart is heavy this morning as I just heard of another marriage falling apart. I don’t know the details but the pain for all involved is evident on the faces of those affected.
My heart is heavy this morning as I just heard of another marriage falling apart. I don’t know the details but the pain for all involved is evident on the faces of those affected.
When God declared through his prophet Malachi (Malachi 2:16) that He “hates divorce” I think He speaks to the agony inherent in broken relationships. No matter the circumstances the sorrow of this reality touches not only the two but also a wide circle of others.
A good friend who counsels couples related how often a couple comes to his study with the declaration, “Our marriage is a terrible mistake.”
With a wry smile he often responds, “Every marriage is a terrible mistake; one sinner marries another sinner and trouble is inevitable.” These words echo the Apostle Paul in I Corinthians 7:28, “But those who marry will face difficult circumstances,” and in the NIV of the same passage he calls it “many troubles.”
Could it be that we have those “many troubles” because we are not willing to recognize our own contribution to the trouble as a fellow sinner or because we have failed to seek God’s design and plan for marriage?
At recent marriage conference the speaker reminded my husband and myself of the admonitions in Ephesians for the husband to love his wife as Christ loved the church and for the wife to respect her husband. Love and respect freely given is powerful to mend many a rip in a marriage.
The speaker emphasized that few argue about the need for love in a relationship, but in recent years a man’s need for respect has been denigrated and frequently ridiculed, certainly neglected. Think of how sitcoms portray men with humor and sarcasm, rarely as the hero of Braveheart but more like a stumbling oaf. Male bashing has become a popular pastime hardly contributing to healthy relationships.
God’s exhorts to wives to respect their husbands. (Ephesians 5:33) Such respect calls out the man of honor inherent in her husband. Her respect makes it easier to love her; his love makes it easier to respect him. God’s Spirit gives each the power and resource to live above our natural selves. Healing and hope for marriage rests with each partner depending on Him. With Jesus in the center, “terrible mistakes” can become triumphant marriages. No mistake needs to be permanent. Forgiveness and reconciliation are the privilege of God’s children.
Gwynne Johnson
Gwynne Johnson currently serves on the Board of Entrust, Inc., an international education and training mission where she authored the Entrust curriculum, Developing a Discerning Heart. She recently served as Co-Chair of the training project, Christian Women in Partnership, Russia and as Senior Director of Women's Ministry at Stonebriar Community Church in Frisco, Texas. Gwynne has a M.A. in Biblical Studies from Dallas Theological Seminary. She currently lives in Huntsville, Texas with her husband of 58 years, Don. She works part-time in her daughter and granddaughter's bakery "The Best Box Ever," where she gets paid in cookies.
