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Samaritan Woman: Stay Away from Me?
I received a question this week from a former student, Vernita, about the Samaritan woman, whose story John records in the fourth chapter of his Gospel. Vernita: I'm looking for any credible historical data to support the statements I've read in some commentaries which suggest the Samaritan woman was an outcast in her society and came to the well later in the day than most women in order to avoid the scorn of that crowd. Are you aware of any writings that specifically and definitively state that, or would that be speculation based on what we know about that society? Me: English translations tell us, "It was about noon" (Jn.…
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Donor Insemination: How Would You Counsel?
If infertility is in the closet, insemination using donor sperm is buried in the basement. About one in eight infertile couples conceive using donor sperm, yet the rest of the world knows little about donor insemination (D.I.) due to the veil of secrecy surrounding it. DI follows the same course as artificial insemination with the husband’s sperm in that sperm is inserted directly into the woman’s uterus. Yet there is one critical difference: The semen starts out frozen, and it comes from a donor, usually someone unknown to the recipient. The official position of the Christian Medical and Dental Associations is that “CMDA cannot speak with certainty about [this procedure]…
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Infertility and Mother’s Day: Where Are the Mourners?
Next Sunday is Mother’s Day. M-Day for infertile couples. The most-dreaded day of the year. One of my former teaching assistants, Benji Bruneel, is now a youth pastor in California, and he sent me the following about Mother’s Day. I am posting it for your edification with his permission because it’s totally relevant to our ministries this week. (Benji’s journey prompted me to post this column about infertility last year.) As a new father, I have the privilege this May of celebrating my beloved’s new role in life: mother. This month will mark the first time that we have ever celebrated Mother’s Day as a family of three. It will also mark the first…
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What Not To Say When Someone is Grieving
Last week my dear friend Sandi Glahn wrote another boffo blog post about the myths of infertility, which included some of the dumb things people say. It may be insensitivity or a lack of education that spurs people to say things that are unhelpful at the least and downright hurtful much of the time. I still remember my own daggers to the heart after our first baby died nine days after her birth. And for the past several years, I have been collecting actual quotes said to those already in pain. So here’s my current list of What Not To Say when someone is hurting: Don’t start any sentence with…
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Infertility: People Say the Dumbest Things
Yesterday I received an email from a former seminary student of mine who told me his 29-year-old wife considers the past twelve months her hardest yet. Why? Because they’re going through the martial, emotional, spiritual, medical, ethical crisis of infertility. Complicating the pain for many couples, this one included, is the dumb things people say. For some reason the subject of infertility, more than many other medical conditions, is surrounded by myths. So let’s lay a few to rest. Myth: Infertility and sterility are the same thing. Infertility is not sterility. Infertility is the inability to conceive after one year of unprotected relations and/or the inability to carry a pregnancy…