Embracing the Lonely Seasons


Most of us cringe just seeing the word by itself on the page. We may welcome alone time for a few hours. We may seek out a solitary retreat. But few of us relish being alone for long periods of time.

Even worse, that lonely ache you feel in a crowd. You might be surrounded by others at a gathering. You might put on a smile at the party. You may even lift your hands in worship at church. And yet you feel painfully alone.

Like it or not, most of us will go through seasons when we feel alone. The ache of loneliness will tug at our soul and sometimes bring those hot, burning tears we try to wipe away before anyone notices.

Loneliness is so antithetical to our existence. After all we were made in the image of a triune God. Those who follow Jesus are part of the church — we’re called Christ’s bride and his family.  

And yet we still experience it. So what do we do with loneliness?

Perhaps we should embrace it instead of avoiding it. Feel the ache. Let the tears that sting flow. And let it serve as a reminder we were made for community with others and with God.

Seek out biblical community. No one is made to journey alone. But also realize that we exist in communities of sinners just like ourselves. Sometimes people leave us out. Sometimes they don’t welcome newcomers. Sometimes they’re just too busy to notice.

At its core biblical community is intended to bring us closer to God. It shows us the areas we need to be made more like him. Perhaps we need to be friendly or more open. Perhaps we too need to better welcome others or serve those who seem alone.

Christian community gives us a safe place to share our hurts. We can find someone to help us carry the load. But it isn’t the end all.

The aching in our souls can only and ultimately be fulfilled by God. Friends don’t complete us. Marriage or children don’t either. Only God can fill that void.

So if you find yourself feeling alone in a crowded room, consider the one who goes with you everywhere. He’s by your side when you feel invisible. He sees the frustrated tears that fall. He loves you and welcomes you just as you are.

So come in close. Seek him through the Bible. Pursue him in prayer. Sit in the quite, lonely moments and listen to what he might say to you.

Lonely seasons are never fun or easy. We don’t want them. We’d never seek them. But we shouldn’t fear them.

It’s okay to be alone. It’s okay to feel lonely. It doesn’t mean you’re unfriendly or unfriendable. It simply shows you’re human. And it might just be God wants to use this season to show you more about himself and make you more into the person he wants you to become.

Will you welcome him?

Amanda DeWitt is a freelance writer, coach's wife, and mom. She completed her bachelor’s at Dallas Baptist University and holds a M.A. in media and communication from Dallas Theological Seminary. When she's not typing away at her computer, she's chasing her two little boys or watching her husband coach high school football.

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