Free Play and Discipleship
Recently I learned about two things that would seem to be detached from one another but actually have quite a bit in common. Free play and question based discipleship.
Recently I learned about two things that would seem to be detached from one another but actually have quite a bit in common. Free play and question based discipleship.
I have the privilege of being able to sit and learn from a mother and child development specialist about being a Mom and raising children. This last Monday she talked about free play and how physical free play is foundation to our children’s physical, emotional, mental and social growth. She said that free play allows them creativity, exploration and opportunities for their brains to function and make connections that need to happen for further development to happen. This happens in free play, not in structured play. They need to have this time to explore, learn and even though it doesn’t seem like they are doing anything or going anywhere, their little minds are actually working quite hard. In the process of free play things can get messy!
A few days before I learned about free play I was in a conference session called "Question Based Discipleship". The entire session was about encouraging question asking in our discipleship rather than advice giving. The presenter provided various questions to consider as we disciple and shepherd those God has entrusted to us. She said that when someone has to answer a question for themselves rather than just hear advice, they remember their own answers and they actually will more likely remember their answers than your advice because their brain is making the connections and working. Again, the mind is doing something that we cannot see and it actually benefits the person.
Just like it would be easier to structure our children’s play and keep them clean rather than allow them to get dirty, run around like crazy, etc., it is easier to advise those we are discipling rather than asking them questions, letting them get messy in the process. In both cases, we are choosing the more difficult approach for us, but better process for others.
When asked a question, Jesus very rarely gave a direct answer back. Many times He posed another question that dug deeper into what the person was asking about. Sometimes He responded with an illustration or story. What will you response be? Will you allow those that God has entrusted to you "get messy" as God is transforming them? Will you allow them to take the time they need to learn and grow through the work of the Holy Spirit rather than structure where you think they need to go? Will you let them "free play"?
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One Comment
Kelly B
On this Sat morning I am
On this Sat morning I am reading many of your previous posts, Laura, as I need downtime and refreshment. This post on play hits a chord! I am a Child Dev specialist and my husband is a Theology prof at a liberal arts Christian college. This spring our last child will graduate from college.
We did the "play" and "questions" model – early childhood and all the way through. It is definitely messier than telling them how to think and how to play. In fact, things got uncomfortably "messy" in teen years (when faith determinations must be made personal) which was far more disconcerting than the detritus of free play on the living room floor when they were preschoolers.
But at 22 and 25 they are thinkers and they are engagers of their culture and they are leaders among their believing and unbelieving peers. I am grateful and thank God often.
Our family's journey was lonely. I never even spoke to someone about the connection between these two things you've written about (Except for my husband). And, my husband being very visible prof in local college, meant that we raised the kids in a veritable goldfish bowl.
I have returned to the professional world (secular) and my work involves a lot of parent education. I am deeply concerned about the dearth of free-play opportunities for children today, and that is one of the main things I try to communicate to parents. My husband is sometimes appalled at the number of students who have no interest in thinking but who simply expect that he will dump content into their brains.
You are right, Laura, about this. I know it's an old post, but no matter how lonely this road might be for you, don't leave it.
And thank you.
Kelly