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The Tapeworm Gallery: Tall Tales
I see you putting the last touches on your Sunday school lesson on Genesis 2 and 3. Lots to cover in one hour. But you can do it. Glancing over your notes, I ought to point out a few technicalities. Hope you don't mind. God made everything. He declared everything he made as good. And he made Adam and Eve—very good. That lasted. But remember that infamous tree? He and your type have fussed over it for centuries. Anyhoo…interesting that he planted it smack in the middle of the garden. That thing was as hidden as a stripper pole dancing during…
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The Tapeworm Gallery: Ten Effective Ways to Help Heathens Love Jesus
Between smart phone Bibles and Hollywood churning out a new R-rated movie every seventeen seconds, the world is spiraling downward too fast. Christian living is losing ground in America, as more millennials leave the church. Before you know it, Christian and Grace will be praying standing upright. Can you stop it? No. But you can slow down the process. Here are ten things you can do to make people want to come to church, and help bring the lost to Jesus. I know you have tried most of these already. Keep plugging away. Don’t give up. 1. Memorize Leviticus. 2. Lose the contact information for any socially inept visitor to your…
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The Tapeworm Gallery: Candy-Coated Catnap
October 29. Just hearing someone utter "pumpkin" gets you giddy like a high school cheerleader. But not this year… Despite what Pastor Mike says, Grace and Christian should attend the Monsters' Ball. They will make a fine vampire-ballerina and zombie-policeman for this innocuous school dance. Besides, they haven't dressed up since grade school. People need to relax with the whole "Halloween is evil" bit. Since when is fun a bad thing? Since half-baked, fanatic, church weirdos said so? Just don't let their Halloween pictures land on Facebook. You don't need Pastor Mike's wife getting into your business . . . again. Speaking of meddling . . . your dread pirate mother-in-law,…
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The Tapeworm Gallery: Wounds from a Friend
Bible.org's Women's Leadership Team welcomes Salma Gundi as a regular Engage blogger with part 2 of a series begun when Sandra Glahn published part 1 of Salma's essay as a guest blogger here: The Tapeworm Gallery: Dense Fog Advisory. OK, I stepped out of line. Never meant to offend you. The Boss-Dragon spat fire upon me for picking on Bible-Belters. (The breath on that creature—reminds me of weeks-old curry in a baby's diaper.) I get you. You came from a good Christian home. Your daddy even served as deacon. Women at church respect you. You inhabit the epicenter of goodness. And that's all that matters. I get desperate. You don't exactly give me…
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The Tapeworm Gallery: Dense Fog Advisory
Today we have a guest post from Salma Gundi, a seminary student. In the spirit of Screwtape, she imagines what Tapeworm might say to a woman in Christian leadership in the Bible belt. Just remember: "One little word shall fell him." You don't know me. But I know you. The Boss assigned me to your zone before your birth. And I've contemplated you ever since. I came to exist prior to the garden—even prior to the universe. I've covered countless territories over millions of years. But the Bible Belt? Daunting. Could my kind survive here? Although you outnumber me, my kind lurks everywhere you turn. I can't reproduce like you.…
