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The Unbiblical-ness of “Biblical” Dating
Valentine’s Day makes me giddy, not because I expect a bouquet, but because I relish demonstrations of affection. My heart is gladdened every time I see a couple cuddling in a corner booth or read of Mr. Darcy fumbling for words with Lizzy Bennett. I am a romantic. But, understanding and admitting that has been hard. Validating my desire for romantic love (a presumably feminine trait) without dismantling my dreams of leading (a presumably masculine one) has been hard as hell. Sadly, Christian culture increased my agony. Rather than helping, family-centric churches and marriage-centric families lectured me on “biblical dating.” Perhaps you’ve been schooled, too… Always kiss the person to…
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Singleness, Sex, and Cold Showers
“Boys will be boys.” “It’s not healthy to suppress those sexual urges.” “You can’t expect a person to go without it for too long.” “If she (or he) doesn’t ‘put out,’ I’ll just look elsewhere.” We’ve all heard, or been told, one of these lines. Sexual purity and fidelity seem to be values of the past. Just read the most recent headlines associated with the #MeToo (#YoTambien) movement, and you will quickly learn of yet another actor, CEO, judge, pastor, president, reporter, or news broadcaster who has fallen from grace because of his or her history of promiscuity and/or sexual harassment. Where are our role models? How can we…
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A Single Girl’s Revolt Against the Day of Love
Many cultures and countries consider a woman over the age of 30 to be an “old maid” (in Spanish: solterona). So at the age of 34, I was definitely past my prime according to many. I disliked Valentine’s Day. Too many past disappointments and brokenhearted moments meant I just tried to survive until February 15. (Para español, lea abajo.) I ignored the flowers on my female coworkers’ desks. I ignored the male coworkers’ conversations about dinner plans. I ignored the heart-shaped cookies sold at bakeries. I ignored the stuffed teddy bears and candy boxes at grocery stores. I viewed Valentine’s Day as “The-Survival-of-the-Fittest” Day and I used various tactics throughout…
