My wife and I recently started working on a new marriage ministry at our church and we have begun a 16 week study with several other married couples in our church. In our second week, we started sharing our stories about our parent’s marriage and how their marriage has had an effect on our own marriage. One thing really struck me about each individual’s story that really convicted me and made me look at myself as a father of 4.
Never underestimate the power of the Dad!
As I heard each person’s story of their parents, it was the dad’s role in the marriage that seemed to negatively affect them the most. In all cases the mother obviously played a pivotal role (good or bad) but it was the dad that really seemed to make the biggest difference…in a negative way!
Thankfully, I can’t say that about my dad, he was and still remains one of my best friends and has always been a positive influence in my life…I am extremely blessed! But as far as many in the group it was the father who was hands off, non-affectionate, dominating, abusive, and unfaithful or an alcoholic that seemed to wreak the most havoc in their family. I can probably name off a few more adjectives but you get what I mean.
What it comes down to is that those men didn’t have a parenting problem, they had a sin problem and being a bad spouse or parent was just a result of the sin.
No parent is perfect and I truly believe most do what they do because they believe they are doing the right thing but many times it’s because they model what their parents did with them or they are just rebelling against how their parents raised them. Guess what? They are sinful people too just like you!
I’m encouraged that the men and women in our group have all worked hard to overcome the personal impact of the sins of their fathers in their own marriages. For many, it’s a constant, daily struggle but it’s their growing faith in Jesus and the growing faith of their spouse that has helped them become stronger and better married people and parents.
Dad’s you have the power to have a lifelong, positive or negative impact on your children and your children’s children. Your walk with the Lord is the only real way to see what your sin is and how to get rid of it. Be the dad that gets shouts of praise at your kids Bible Studies instead of stream of tears.
Thanks dad for being a positive influence in my life. Amy and the kids thank you too!