True Story – ad Absurdum

“They invent ways of doing evil” – The Apostle Paul, Romans 1:30.

This begins as a true story:

When I was an outcast, oddball, “loser” in high school, bottom of the pecking order and always in danger of getting picked on or beat up, I came up with the idea of pretending to be a Satan worshiper. I found this could be helpful to me in several ways: 1. It made people think twice about picking on me. 2. It brought me the attention I craved as an awkward, outsider teenager. After all, any attention is good attention.

Now let us imagine a nightmare scenario. (Think along the lines of the old Twilight Zone episode entitled “It’s a Good Life”.)[1]

Imagine there were hundreds, thousands, or hundreds of thousands of us who suddenly declared the same thing… even kids at kindergarten ages. Imagine if parents decided it would be good to encourage our decision.

Imagine if we passed laws to make sure Satanists could not be discriminated against, including with employment at daycare centers, churches, Christian bookstores, etc.

Imagine if I insisted all teachers and students play along and call me “Son of Satan” and if they refused to do so they could lose their jobs or be expelled from school because the government afforded me protected status.

Imagine if we could get almost anyone anywhere fired for not accepting Satanism as good and right and normal.

Imagine, if someone told me they believed in God and believed Satanism was wrong, I could call them intolerant, a bigot, a hater, report them for bullying and hate speech and they would be forced to take some kind of satanic re-education classes.

Imagine if judges started taking children away from parents if the parents would not affirm their Satanism.

Imagine if we got Satanist books in the schools for kids and kids were learning about Satanism from pre-school and kindergarten.

Heck, what if I lobbied with my other pretend-Satanist friends and made sure there was Satan orientation for all students entering college.

Imagine if we got a celebrating Satanist month at the beginning of the year and a Satanist History month in the fall, which of course would teach others about the contributions Satanists had made in the founding and building of our country. Perhaps we could even find some vague evidence somewhere that Abraham Lincoln might have been a Satanist.

Imagine if History classes and museums, etc., had to constantly talk about the contribution of Satanists to the founding of the country and Satanist contributions to science and literature, sports and entertainment, etc.

Imagine if townships and government offices, due to the fear of Satanists began to fly Satanist flags and the Diversity, Equity, and Inclusion departments and administrators gave talks about how Satanists needed to have fair and equal representation at all companies and government offices and companies that do business with the government.

What if, in order to get money from our government, foreign governments had to affirm Satanist rights and support Satanist causes in their respective nations.

What if it became very important to make sure Satanists were appointed to positions high within the government and cabinet, maybe even a Satanist was appointed as ambassador to the Vatican.

Imagine if some unintelligent empty-suit president flew the Satan flag at the White House and had a Satan party on the front lawn, complete with goat head soup and maybe even some kind of satanic orgies for fun.

Imagine if, in order to go with the flow, some churches began to put signs out front that said, “We affirm Satanism here” and they flew the Satan flags in outside their churches. 

Imagine if churches began hiring Satanists to be preachers and professors in their seminaries.

Imagine if these same churches, preachers, and professors began to publicly pronounce that the Bible never said anything bad against Satan; it was all misinterpreted. In fact, Jesus had not one word to say against worship of Satan.

Imagine if people started saying they were Satanic-Christians… and who are you to judge?

Imagine if we started a slogan like “Worship is worship” (and everyone knew that was the Satanic slogan) and constantly said “all worship is the same” and put out lawn signs stating such slogans.

Imagine if every television and cable show had to have an endearing Satanist as a character.

Imagine if the news was constantly in search of stories about how someone gave a dirt look to a Satanist somewhere… or how some shooting somewhere showed an anti-Satanist hate-crime bias.

Imagine if my Satanism status made me a mini-celebrity.

Imagine if it made me a HUGE celebrity!

Imagine if huge celebrities started singing songs about us and pushing our agenda because, after all, it is so very bold to take a tough stand for the trendiest thing.

Imagine if companies began hiring Satanists as spokespeople.

Imagine if cities lobbied for Satanists to come to their towns.

Imagine if the drug companies came up with a way for me and people like me to grow horns out of our heads.

Imagine if we demand the horn drugs should be provided for us because this is who we are.

(Imagine if parents allowed their children to decide whether to have horns grafter onto their skulls and have plastic-surgeons permanently burn their skin so it would be red for the rest of their lives.)

Imagine if we were in the military and the woke military leaders decided that red skin and horns was somehow important to the overall coherence of military cohesion and readiness?

Okay, okay.

I agree, this is the most ridiculous, backwards, and idiotic thing ever imagined.

It would be completely crazy; like, insane, right?

Literally, insane.

Truth be told, it would truly be Satanic.

“For the time will come when men will not put up with sound doctrine. Instead, to suit their own desires, they will gather around them a great number of teachers to say what their itching ears want to hear” (2 Timothy 4:3).

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[1] As per IMDB: “a young boy with vast mental powers, but lacking emotional development, holds his terrified family in thrall to his every juvenile wish.”