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    Can I Get A Witness?

    I am a romantic and an idealist at heart, and so it will come as no surprise that I love the TV show, This is Us. During this first season there has been unspoken tension between Kevin, a selfish 36-year-old actor, and his stepdad, Miguel. Every time that Miguel tries to help, affirm or encourage Kevin, Kevin rejects him and pushes him away. But one day, Kevin is anxious about the opening of his show and so Miguel says, Kevin, you remind me of your dad, you know that? The way that you move your hands when you talk, the way that you walk across a room. Sometimes you remind…

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    The Nearness of God

    With clothes dripping, shoes soggy, and wet hair plastered to my face, I moved forward. I had mud spattered all over my legs and the storm was rolling in with a furry. Still far from my apartment, I did what anyone in my situation would do: smile. You see, although I had slipped in a deep puddle, tracked through a muddy ravine, and gotten thoroughly drenched by the summer rain, I was wonderstruck. My nine-week old lab mix, Juliette, and I were having a glorious time exploring the great outdoors. And if you’ve ever owned a lab, you know that they’re happiest in water. So when we saw those pools…

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    Let it Be Light

    I don’t know where I’ve been the past six Advents at my church, but this year, I’ve been given the gift of Advent and the gift of hope. This year, I finally see why we need Advent—the season in which the church celebrates Christ’s first coming while also eagerly anticipating his second coming. Because here’s the truth. We don’t realize our immense need and desperate longing for the light unless we’ve first seen the gravity and weight of the inky darkness. And in just the past few months, there’s been a lot of darkness in my life and family. My beloved Granddad passed away unexpectedly, I’m battling severe chronic depression,…

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    Oh, That’s Why

    Jesus knew what lay in store for him that Passover night. He was on his way to the cross and would experience great agony in the Garden of Gethsemane, followed by Judas’ betrayal of him, Peter’s denial of him, abandonment by the other 10 disciples, and a mock trial held illegally at the home of the high priest. Bothfully God and fully human, Jesus knew that he was about to not only suffer a gruesome and painful physical death, but also separation from the Father as he bore the weight of our sins upon the cross. And yet, notice what Jesus said to his disciples at the beginning of this…

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    Am I Enough?

    Yes, I know the Gospel. But quite honestly, sometimes, the Gospel doesn’t seem enough for me. It seems too good to be true. And so sometimes I fail to live as if it were true. “What? God did everything and I did nothing? How can that be? I know I’m unworthy. I know I’m not enough. How could a perfect, holy, and righteous God ever overlook my ‘not enoughness?’” So let’s sit with that question for a moment, the question that haunts many of us, “Am I enough?” 11 years of off-and-on counseling has helped me to break free from some of my people-pleasing tendencies. So I’ll just be blunt…

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    A Fresh Desire for God

    I’ve attended church services weekly for thirty years, but I can count on one hand the number of times that I’ve cried during the service. Having been reared in a churchgoing, Christian family, Sunday morning worship had grown comfortable and predictable, like a morning bowl of bran flakes. I’d allowed my participation in the corporate worship of the Church body to become a blasé routine that did little to challenge, cultivate, or spiritually form me. But this particular Sunday was different. Both woefully ignorant of the practices and traditions of liturgical churches, Jason and I tentatively stepped across threshold of the local Anglican church to hear a guest speaker whose…

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    Fully Known

    It’s intimidating to think of being fully known by anyone, much less God. No matter how “together” our lives may be (or appear to be), we all have junk in the closet. Things that we’d rather others not find out about. Things that we feel need to stay hidden. Things that are embarrassing or shameful or incriminating to bring out into the light of day. And so we hide those undesirable parts of our person, and hope that we’ll never be found out. But here’s the truth: You’ve been found out. God already knows. He knows your past, your present, your future, your thoughts, your behavior, your motivations, your desires,…

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    Making Room for Pain

    “You’re not jumping two phone books high! Jump higher. Let these kids know how much you love Jesus!” And then I felt it—the water gun hit my back, mingling with the copious amount of sweat already drenching my t-shirt. Yes, that’s right—a water gun. Camp staff members were squirted if they didn’t jump high enough to show their enthusiastic love for Jesus while welcoming the kids to camp in 100-degree sticky heat. It was the start of a very difficult six weeks for me. In the midst of what my doctor diagnosed as chronic depression, I had been hired to serve as camp counselor for middle school girls. I had…

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    Where Fear Lurks

    1 Kings 19 opens with Elijah running for his very life. It’s ironic isn’t it? When on the mountaintop (chapter 18), with 450 angry Baal prophets surrounding him, Elijah didn’t fear. He prayed boldly and with complete confidence that God would show up. And his prayers were answered. For a prophet like Elijah, life didn’t get any better than seeing God’s glory displayed in a consuming fire and your enemy soundly defeated. And yet, when Elijah should have felt closest to God—right after witnessing God’s mighty power—Elijah feared for his very life, ran and hid. In a matter of just a few days, Elijah went from a mountaintop experience complete…

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    The Burden of Shame

    If anyone should have been burdened by shame—the feeling that at the core of his being, he was inherently flawed and unworthy of love—it would have been the Apostle Paul. His crimes weren’t minor. He zealously persecuted Christians and personally condemned and participated in the deaths of many (see his story in Galatians 1:11-24). If I were Paul, I don’t think I could have ever forgiven myself for my crimes. I imagine that I would lay awake at night for hours, struggling to fall asleep as the scenes of brave Christians dying for their faith, replayed in my mind. I would find it hard to smile at children and their…