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    The Pink Elephant in the Room

    It’s obvious, but no one will acknowledge it. It’s awkward. No one will discuss it. It’s touchy. No one will confront it. For some, it's enslaving. For others, it's saving. For some, a disease. For others, a cure. Masturbation. Eight years ago Dr. Sandi Glahn posted an article on the rosy pachyderm. It has over 120,000 views. Distorted views of sexuality have paralyzed Christians far too long. While the church is beginning to discuss pornography, we also need to embrace a more robust theology of sexuality, including solo-sexuality. I would like to open a healthy discussion in answer to this question: Is solo-sex actually sex? Why or why not? 1+

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    Singleness, Sex, and Cold Showers

    “Boys will be boys.” “It’s not healthy to suppress those sexual urges.” “You can’t expect a person to go without it for too long.” “If she (or he) doesn’t ‘put out,’ I’ll just look elsewhere.” We’ve all heard, or been told, one of these lines. Sexual purity and fidelity seem to be values of the past. Just read the most recent headlines associated with the #MeToo (#YoTambien) movement, and you will quickly learn of yet another actor, CEO, judge, pastor, president, reporter, or news broadcaster who has fallen from grace because of his or her history of promiscuity and/or sexual harassment.    Where are our role models? How can we…

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    The Single Christian Woman and Sexual Longing

    Three years ago, I wrote a post titled “Going Solo Sexually,” which addressed the issue of Christian women and masturbation. Apparently, we need to talk more about this in the church (though not necessarily from the pulpit), because that post has received thousands and thousands of hits and has generated numerous comments. But recently, the conversation has taken a slight turn. Last week someone with the user name “Single forever” added this comment titled, “It’s Tough”: “I’m a 33 year old. Never been in a relationship, held, physically touched, kissed by a man. What do I do with this sex drive and need for love? It’s tough and a daily…

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    Women “Going Solo” Sexually

    Lots of Christian leaders have sought in vain to find masturbation mentioned in the Bible. It’s just not there, so perhaps we’re going overboard when we categorize it up there with murder. When they can’t find anything on the topic, some folks point out what they consider the next best thing—mention of “unused seed.” And they take readers to the story of Onan, found in Genesis 38:6–10. Onan’s story is part of the faith-legacy of Tamar, one of the faithful women in the genealogy of Jesus. Tamar’s husband was evil, so God struck him dead. And Old Testament levirate law said that when an Israelite man died childless, his brother…